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Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

People of the Bridge.

I walked the bridge last night and this morning.  I have walked the bridge like 2 zillion times.  Why then, today, do I feel like I just ran the world's longest marathon?  I feel like a 95 year old that just went knee boarding?  I'm a lil stove up.

Can we talk about people on the bridge.  We can start our own "People of Walmart" type group for the "people of the Ravenel Bridge."  Sounds good. 

Dear little tiny woman who was walking in front of me while wearing little tiny jorts (jean shorts for those that don't know,
1- jean shorts are prolly going to make you pay later.  Just saying.  2- was it necessary to smoke Marlboro Reds (in your miniature back pocket) the entire way down?  If only you were a little slower, then I could have scooted past you.  Thank you for my black lung.  I could barely breathe anyways, what's a little less clean air? 

Dear speed racer on the bike,
You are really lucky that I actually walked in a straight line.  You could have been killed when you came down the bridge at mach 10.  It made me a little nervous when we bumped arms.  Maybe my life flashed before my eyes?

Dear hottest man I have ever seen (EVER),
Do you run shirtless at that time everyday?  Because I may have to start stalking you walking more often.  Just saying. 

Dear couple embracing against my car,
I love coming back from walking the bridge to find people making out chatting on the side of my car.  Was it awkward for you?  Because I felt like dying.  Only because you were on the driver's side and I didn't bring the remote with the alarm button on it.  You win some, you lose some.

That's all I've got for you on this Tuesday:)

2 comments:

  1. 2 zillion? For real? :)

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  2. THIS IS HYSTERICAL!

    1.) Jorts lady was DEFINITELY paying for that later and I speak from experience

    2.) I feel like you blasphemed Riggins a little bit hee, just sayin'

    3.) Start People of the Bridge blog ASAP!

    ReplyDelete