Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Friday, October 26, 2012


Lately, I feel like I've been pretty lucky.  I've been learning a lot.  Some good.  Some bad.  Some I'd like to soak in lighter fluid and light that junk on fire (is that too dramatic??).  As soon as I think I've got something together, another little thing comes out of the woodwork.  I am figuring out that nothing seems to be perfect and that's just how life goes.  Just when you think it is, you've got another situation on your hands.  Here's a shocker- I will probably not be perfect. (Gasp)  Well, today I have decided to be okay with that.   Because really there is not a damn thing I can do about it.  Except attempt to learn from what I did wrong.  (Sometimes things do go right and I'm a fan of that..) 

So here is today's recurring struggle/learning opportunity (I've tried to drop this like a hot potato, but it keeps on coming back)

Can you relate?  This is me 100%  I'm 27.  I imagined that by this age, I would have it all together.  Rainbows and butterflies.  I remember thinking of friends that were older than me and thinking that they had it all together.  I was always awestruck by it.  I say "was" like i don't do that now..  This is where I am dragged down the bumpy road of comparison. I am probs the worst comparer out there.  Just saying.  (i'm insecure, so comparing comes naturally.)  (I'm waiting to find a way to cash in on this skill)   It happens.  Intentionally.  Unintentionally.  And when it happens- its when I trick myself into believing something that's not true.  It's when I feel like I've got nothing to offer or I'm not as good etc.  At times I feel like everyone that I am in relationship with is always rolling full speed ahead.  They are all good.  So then when I do something wrong, or just botch something- I never want to say something.  Then people will know that I'm a mess or that I have absolutely no earthly idea what the heck I am doing.  (Oh well.)  I think people especially my age, want everyone to think that things are perfect.  A ok.  There's this idea that we have to be perfect all of the time.  I know that that is not so much the case, but I forget and will then do a little comparing and that just never turns out good over here.  
So here is my solution.  (At least for today).  Freedom.  When I botch it up- I'm just going to yell air ball and take another shot.  I forget that it doesn't matter if I shoot a brick every once in a while.  Everything I do is not going to go right.  It's okay if I mess up.  It's what grace is all about.  I can't have it all and be it all all of the time. (No offense, but you can't either)  Life is messy.  Most of the people that I like and are dear friends- are probs messy too.  And they are most likely not perfect all of the time.  I seriously love people that are just real.  All the time.  How cool is it when you go through something and you finally get the cajones to speak up about it ( I tend to build it up in my head about 50 times worse than it already is)- the friend has been there and done that??  And they just might have some good advice to throw out.  I think that once we all feel freedom to just be who we are- when things are good and bad- we are actually living how we are supposed to.  When we don't feel pressure to be someone different.  When we realize that not everybody has it all together.  We can actually do real life together.  Isn't that the point?  

Thursday, October 25, 2012


It is no secret to anyone that knows me, even a tiny bit, that I love where we get to live.  I wrote most of this post a long time ago, but never published it- because then you would know that I am legit obsessed with the lowcountry.  Well, Mattie Dodds has inspired me (her writing is very cool if you would like to check it out) to go ahead with my Mt. Perfect love.

I have never lived anywhere else (By the grace of God).  Some people think that's not good. (Am I a "townie?") In fact, I used to think that I needed to go live somewhere (Just for the hell of it) so that I could come back.  Well, I've been here 27 years and I think that I am pretty appreciative.  Luckily, I have gotten to travel to a lot of beautiful, unique places, but the Lowcountry has stolen my heart and she does not plan on returning it:)  My love is not limited to Charleston, it in fact stretches South to Edisto where you can roam around the Ace Basin and North where I would lay on the beach of Pawley's Island until the cows come home. 

It is very special here.  For many, many reasons.  The shear beauty of our surroundings is enough for me to live off of.  Salt water, brown trees, old buildings and the most beautiful lighting on the marsh almost sends me right over the edge.  The smells that fill the air are intoxicating (sometimes good and bad).  You can smell pluff mud almost anywhere.  Confession- boat gas.  A favorite smell of mine.. Sorry I'm not sorry.  The sound of tug boats cutting through the water is so cool.  They sound different because there bow is huge and the water slaps right up against it.  Listen to a container ship cruise by Hobcaw.  Or the sounds of your line unloading out of your rod head.  Gah.  I could go on for hours.  I started taking pictures solely because I wanted to be able to look at these things whenever and wherever I wanted.  I never, ever want to become "used" to it.
These are some of my favorite places:
If you know me well, then you also know that I am a sunset junkie.  There's no way around it.  I have another friend that is a junkie also, so I am not alone.  Hands down- we have the best sunsets.  Don't fight me on this one.  The best sunset I've seen thus far was a year or so ago after a lil hurricane came through.  I just happened to have my camera and happened to be on Sullivan's Island (My all time love).  I think this one is my favorite because it came after a storm and the sky looked like it was on fire.  So, so cool. 
No better way to spend a sunset than with dear friends singing the Free Willy theme song...

Back to the moral of my story. (sorry for over whelming you with pics).  One of the reasons I love living here is that every day I have a constant reminder that we have a magnificent God.  Holy Moly did he create some majestic stuff around here.  We get to see it every single day. 
I love it for a whole lot of selfish reasons also.  If I bounce out of the office early, I can put the boat in the water and be to my favorite spot in 5 minutes.  Away from everything.  There is no better sound than a boat with the throttle down over glassy water.  I can park my car in a parking lot and walk 100 yards into the middle of the marsh and feel like time has stopped and I am the only one there.  Just me (and the red fish that I am so desperately wanting to bite my fly and never does.)  Even if you get skunked it does not matter.  You are standing in marsh grass, knee deep in the water, watching a perfect sunset.  Sounds a hell of a lot better than sitting in my office nook listening to Pandora and checking boxes...  Even just going to a dock and throwing the cast net with no intention of catching any shrimp is like therapy.  On a cold November morning in the hours before the sun comes up, I will drive an hour South to Edisto.  To sit in a freezing cold duck blind.  Walking through the flooded ponds in the dark in fear of alligators is totally worth getting to look up at the stars, in the middle of nowhere and listed to Teal and wood ducks come flying in.  Your heart feels like it is going to beat right out of your chest.  You forget that you are cold and that you got 3 hrs of sleep.  When the sun starts piercing through the dark tree line, you realize that it's worth it.  It's worth it to get to watch nature wake up.  You hear sounds that you have no clue about (slightly scary at times).  You have to be silent.  Everything stops.  Time moves so slow.  But, you are actually in a position to enjoy it.

Then you get to do something totally exhilarating. 
To me there is just nothing better than being outside.  Whether it is in the boat, in the marsh, fishing, hunting, crabbing on a dock, playing guitar on the porch or just sitting in the yard reading.  I just can't seem to get my fill.  Every single season (I think we only really get 2.. Winter and summer) has something unique to offer.  I guess the bottom line is that we are so blessed to call this place our home.  I don't think that I would ever feel at home any place else.  Just thankful.
Make good choices.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I like these people:)

On Friday, my assistant, Whodeshon, and I headed north to Mclellanville.  I got to take pictures for a very special 60th birthday:)
I like these people.
The bday girl and her new present...
The best looking 60 yr old I know
and the beaver...
These last two are my favorite shots of the day:)

Monday, October 22, 2012

Southern Ground

This weekend I went to the Southern Ground Music Festival.  Holy Moly.  Awesome.  A lot went down, but I'm only going to bore you with 2 items today. 

1) The Zac Brown Band:  They are like the non Dave Matthews Band version of Dave Matthews Band.  (That does not make sense most likely- but it is making sense over here..) Such incredible musicians.  Gah.  My dream would be to be in their band...  I love when a really good band plays really good cover songs.  "Isn't she lovely" may have been my favorite.  Wait, it would have to tie with "Sweet Emotion." I am now a huge ZBB fan.  100%. 

Then you throw in John Mayer (he was a guest guitarist).  I have mixed emotions on ol John.  Yes, I know he is not the most quality guy.  His dating history is a bit spotty.  He has a thousand un attractive tats all over him (Not a huge tat fan over here)  And yes, he makes incredibly awkward facial expressions while playing.  All of that aside- the man is a hottie when he is clothed and is playing a solo on his electric guitar.  I mean, there is just no other way to put it.  I was geeking out to the extreme when he was playing.  I was trying to mask it, but I'm sure it was obvious.  I had to restrain myself from running onto the stage (Okay, that is a tad dramatic, but I was thinking it..)  gah.  I'm pretty sure that if he proposed to me, I would have to say yes.  Just in case anyone was wondering.  Except for our whole life he would have to be holding the guitar.  He's donezo without it...  All in all- the music was pretty darn stellar.

2) The food.  Was so so so good.  I can't remember what I got, but it came from Zac Brown's kitchen and it was so good that I was incredibly sad when it was gone.  And then there was beer.  One must stay hydrated. 

All in all.  Saturday was a very good day.  Beautiful weather, Incredible music, mouth watering food and fun friends.  I think this may have to become a tradition.  Already looking forward to next year. 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

He's a Lion

So if you are cool a nerd like me, then you probs love all of the Narnia books.  Admit it.  You do.  It's cool.  Any ways.  This is one of my all time favorite quotes from the Narnians (see above).  Someone asks if Aslan is safe.  (For those who don't know, Aslan is a Lion.  He also represents God.) Today when I saw this, I actually took a second to think about it.  How many times do I put God in a little, tiny box and think of him as safe?  More times than I would like to admit.  In the movie, Aslan was definitely not safe.  But, boy was he good.  He was the king.  He saved them.  Hate to break it you (and me), but God isn't safe.  He's THE KING.  He's radical in every way.  I forget more often than not, that God never promised me that he was "safe."  But he is good.  Choosing to follow him doesn't mean that it's all rainbows, butterflies and easy bake ovens from here on out.  In fact, things are probs a little more dicey.  But it's good.  A lot of times I choose to do things that are "safe" and easy.  A whole lot of times I choose not to do things out of fear.  This is a big one.  Fear is like a thorn in my side.  Not a fan.  I'm a chicken in disguise.  I'm talking big and little fear.  Like being scared to even talk to someone.  (Hello??  grow some why don't you.  ) Don't even ask me to pray for a someone I don't know.  Stranger danger.  Forget it being in public.  This is directed at me just so you know.   When I don't want to take a risk or if I let fear drive this crazy train, then I am putting THE KING in a box.  What I've come to realize is that most of the time, we have to risk a little to gain a little.  Here's the big question though:  Is the risk worth the reward?  You tell me.  Here is how I see it (at this present time):  Do I want to play it safe and keep God in this little tiny box I've made for him?  And pull him out when I need him.  Or do I risk a little?  Jesus risked it all.  For us.  He took the absolute biggest risk only to give us the biggest reward.  Do I forget that it's not about me and step out of my comfort zone?  I want to live in a way that isn't safe, but good.  I want to take chances that help bring in pieces of the Kingdom.  I just have to figure out how to do it.  I want to live for THE KING.    I want to take the risks, so that I can live into the rewards. 

That's all I've got.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

People of the Bridge: Surprise Bandits

It's no secret.  I drag myself up the bridge alone. By choice.  If you have been reading then you know why.  You can read about it HERE (Recap- no touching, sweating or talking with others).  Well today, the tides were turned.  Over the last few weeks, little jokes were made between my friend Anne and her son, whom we shall call whodeshon.  Actually we can call him his real name.  Sam.  (Side note:  Sam is one of my all time favorite people.  (I actually fully love all of the Jones family.  But let's stick to Sam today)  This kid has made me hold his hand in public which would normally make me pass out on the spot.  You know this.  Instead of passing out I look like a sketchy cradle robber...  Basically a 13 yr old has chucked me right out of my delightful comfort zone.  He makes me laugh all of the time.  Even when I'm not supposed to.  Hilarious.  Plus he's cool.  So there's what you need to know about Sam.  Any who, Sam has been saying that he was going to walk the bridge with me.  Right...  I thought this was pretty much a fat chance, being that he is not old enough to drive.  That means his mom would have to wake up at the crack of dawn to cart him to the bridge.  I mean, I would do no such thing for my unborn children.  I need my beauty sleep.  It came up last night that Sam wanted to walk the bridge.  Yeah right.  Homeboy is on fall break so I knew he (or his mom) would not want to wake up while the moon is still out.  Little did I know that moms wake up in the middle of the night.  So when my alarm went off at 6:21 am I hit snooze.  Just 5 more minutes....  Then it occurred to me that of all people that threaten to meet me at the bridge- this kid could be for real.  Uh oh.  So I got dressed in record time and headed out.  Did I mention that it was pitch black out still?  In my 2 minute drive I reconciled myself to the fact that I was dumb and should have slept another hour because no one in their right mind would come walk the bridge with me.  Especially if they don't have school today.  As I pulled into the gas station lot I was making my way to my spot.  Only to notice two dark figures. One was running at my moving vehicle...   It was in fact Whodeshon and his mom.  I was 50% shocked and 50% elated.  And some percentage of nervous.  I seriously do not know why I get nervous with other people.  It is the weirdest thing.  Ridiculous.  If only you could know what goes on in my mind.  Way too much for pre sunrise.  I feel like rain man or something sometimes.  Maybe that's a stretch.  We headed up the bridge.  Here is my true confession.  Breaking news.  I enjoyed it.  No really.  It was even fun.  I'm not a huge morning person, but it was good.  I even talked up the bridge.  I do not know how, but words and oxygen were in there.  Baby miracles.  It seemed so much easier going up the bridge.  Now, I was forced to hold his hand on the way dawn... but I survived:)  Bottom line:  It was not a terrible experience at all.  In fact, I would do it again.  It was enjoyable exercise.  Not sure if I've ever said that before...  We are moving mountains here people.  Here are some post walk pics:)
I mean, who would not want to walk with this...
This pretty much describes our friendship...

Moving mountains people.

Stay Classy.

Monday, October 15, 2012

I've lost that lovin feeling

All I can picture now is Tom Cruise (back when he was cute and less cray cray) in his uniform singing in the bar with Goose.  Totally off topic.  My bad.  I failed to walk the bridge this morning, so our choices are limited.  It's Monday and we are going deep.  Well, deep for me.

This past Sunday I actually paid attention to the sermon 100%.  I'm not sure that this has ever happened.  This is at no fault of any preacher.  I just get distracted and my mind wanders.  This Sunday- I even took notes!  This is big people.  Here goes.

We learned about effectual love.  I had no clue as to what that meant when it came out of Rob Sturdy's mouth.  Now I am proud to say, I know what it means.  Thank you. Hold your applause. (All of the smart, deep stuff is straight from Rob Sturdy)

Loving effectually is loving in a way that can determine an outcome.  Hate to break it to you (and me), but we don't have the ability to love effectually.  We can't love someone enough, to prevent them from doing something.  This is big.  So many times I have thought that I could do that.  Not so much.  But, God can.  

God loves us unconditionally, in an immovable way.  We will never be at home in a world that loves conditionally and ineffectually.  We will always feel strange here.  Here is the scary part to me.  The world teaches us to love conditionally.  A give and take.  I'll give you "this" if I can get "that" from you.  We will be conformed to the love of the world instead of the unconditional love of Christ.  The conditional love of the world is so powerful.  It causes us to do things we are ashamed of.  If we aren't being shaped by the unconditional love of God, then we will be shaped by the conditional love of the world.  This scares the junk out if me. I can't even count the amount of times that I've tried to earn the love of the world. 

Here's where we come in.  We have to try to escape being shaped by the conditional love of the world.  We can shape the world with our unconditional love of Christ.  We have to refuse entering into conditional relationships.  (these ones are tough).  We can't play by the rules of the conditional world.  We also have to go the extra mile. We have to do more than we "need" to do.  Specifically with those that we don't necessarily enjoy (can I say that?). 

This last little part stuck out to me.  Sometimes (lots of times) we actually think that we are a benefit to Christ.  I don't know if you have ever felt that way.  True Confession: Sometimes, when things are great, I'm doing well, everything is going right- I can actually catch myself thinking that I am a benefit to Christ.  Really?  And then it all goes to hell and a hand basket.  Insert "The Fall."  Happens all of the time.  I am in no way a benefit to Christ.  Getting into that mindset is a trap.  Straight up. 

If you didn't get to hear this sermon- I highly recommend listening to it. 

Happy Monday:) 

Friday, October 12, 2012

Thankful in the Fall

Fall-I am so glad you have actually found Mt. Perfect this year.  (Sometimes fall forgets to come).  Even if it is temporary, it is AWESOME.  There is nothing better than walking outside and just feeling so good only because the weather is glorious.  Since I have recently morphed into a book reading, guitar playing, candle lighting, introverted recluse- I welcome this beautiful fall weather.  I can't wait to just lay on my hammock and read.  (Isn't this what every 27 yr old girl wants to do all the time?).  I also can't wait to just go wandering around without having a heat stroke.  Yes, this is just awesome. 

Sorry I have been a little absent.  I haven't had too much to write about lately.  However, I have been processing lots of little different things.  I feel like all of a sudden there are a million things that I want to try.  Such as Jazz guitar, cello, drums, cooking.  The creative juices are flowing like none other.  I am having a hard time just taking them one at a time.  (Plus I have to work here and there) 

I've been feeling super blessed this week.  I kind of was in a bit of a rut the last month (fear, insecurity, vain imaginings, etc- the usual), but in the midst of it I realized some cool things.  One is that I feel so blessed to have such great people in my life.  Just the last two weeks I have had a genuine sense of love and joy towards some of my friends.  Don't judge- but I could literally start thinking or talking about someone and it could make me tear up.  As weird as that is, I am so so so glad.  Thankful is what I am on that one.  I am also so thankful to have people in my life that teach me new things all the time.  Even when they are not meaning to.  So cool.  I hope that one day I can do that for other people.

I think I kind of finally saw things in a different perspective.  I love that I have friends that are older than me and that are wise and kind.  That actually take the time to be friends.  I am thankful that I have friends that love me like part of their families.  It's so fun and cool to get to know not just one person, but their whole family.  You get to see how people really are.  That's my favorite part.  You get to do life together.  I am so thankful for my friends and roommates.  Especially when we are all trying to do life and figure things out together. As hard as it can be, it's often quite funny.  Thankful to have people that will go sit in a coffee shop and talk for hours, buy cellos, ride bikes or quote Parenthood and FNL.(No Tim Riggins reminiscing ever gets old over here).  Also, I am so thankful that basically my whole entire family lives here.  Thankful that I can see them any time.  Basically- I just think its cool how God surprises us sometimes.  When something has been right in front of us the whole time and it takes us coming to the end of ourselves for us to see it.  Just a few weeks ago I was like the most insecure person on this planet.  And then today I am all sappy/emotional about how great my friends are.  I think the Lord puts people in our lives that test us, that challenge the junk out of us, that teach us, that love us and that show us who it is that God is calling us to be.  So cool.  I hope that i can be that way for someone else. (more on the love side- less on the testy side).  So that's where I am this Friday.  Thankful.

Later Gator.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Engagement Partay

Mere and Tyler's (the boy tyler) engagement party was on Friday night.  It was pretty stellar.  I thought we pulled it off quite nicely.  It was lowcountry pinterest style...  You can check it out HERE

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Shopping for Jesus goods

Today I had to go to The Mecca of Christian goods for the first time.  I think I just got queasy saying it. This place is like the Jesus version of Michael's.  And we all know how I feel about Michael's. Anxiety/craft/old people overload.  But, I had good reason to go, so I went.  Into the doors of Christian paraphernalia I went.  I should have turned around when I saw the thanksgiving Jesus decorations.  I made my way through the "home goods" section and headed to the back.  I was trying to find a bible.  Dear Lord.  I didn't even know that there were that many choices for bibles. 
 I haven't even heard of some of the different types.  Holman Christian Standard??  Amplified?  Amplify what?  Bibles were EVERYWHERE.  I panicked.  Too many choices.  Plus little lady on the headset kept hovering back and forth which caused me to have decision anxiety.  It literally took me more than 30 minutes to pick out a bible.  I was having hot flashes.  Too many Bibles up in here...
They even have Bibles for Rednecks.  This one is for Honey Boo Boo.

They also have Bibles for bedazzling little teeny bops(no offense if you or your child is sporting this one-I secretly wanted it).  No wonder kids have tudes these days.

Also, while on this Christian swag journey I found the rich man's Bible.  I mean, I hope that this Bible has a holographic Jesus that appears and reads it you.  And then performs some miracles or healings.

I felt like I should get this one just because it was the most expensive one.  I mean, maybe I would get more street cred if I was rolling with this one.  This one must have all of the answers in it.  Unfortunately I just couldn't pull the trigger on the $100 Bible.  Headset girl tried to hustle me, but I prevailed. 
Let's move on.
The check out.  After 45 minutes of wandering around aimlessly (I was hunting for some cheesy Jesus treats), I finally found the check out.  Enter awkward situation.  I am checking out behind someone who is trying to get a discount, yet they don't fulfill discount credentials.  He finally conceded and paid full price. My turn.  I am checking out.  Cashier man is a chatty Cathy.  After 10 minutes I realize I still have not been checked out.  Time is money people.  He asks me what I am buying all of my loot for.  I explain.  He then asks where I live.  Huh?  Where do I go to church? Why?  Did I go to college here? Ok, now I'm getting a little confused here.  Insert more small talk.  He is now no longer behind the counter. What do I do?  Do I want any good book recommendations?   Is this homeboy flirting?  No way.  I knew I should not have come to this place.  I felt like all the little Jesus' in the store were staring at me.  How in the world does one escape this? I still needed to pay for my junk and roll out.  I thought about just taking off, but headset girl was by the front door and it could get awkward.  I casually mention that I am in a hurry to get to Starbucks to meet someone.  Terrible lie.  It was the only thing I could think of.  I'm usually so much better.  Plus I felt so guilty for lying in the Jesus store.  Chatty Cathy asks who I'm going to meet.  Oh dear Lord.  Finally he takes my money.  Goodness.  I aged 10 years in there.  
I reach the outside.  I wanted to kiss the ground.  FREEDOM.  I walk toward my car.  Only to see what looked like Za Za Gabor smoking some nice Virginia Slims basically on my car.  Ugh.  She was talking to someone in the car next to mine.  More like yelling actually.  Well this is awkward.  I had to stand there for like a minute for her to notice me.  Finally she carts it on to the other side.  I jumped in White Lightning and burned rubber. 
Never to return again.