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I am a hot mess express going full throttle

Thursday, November 29, 2012

My friends are married.

My best friend sent me this and I had to share.  She too is married-so I take it that it's okay to share this with you...  I personally relate to #2.  Any who- If you are married (which if we are friends then you probs are bc almost everyone I know is currently married or getting married...It's cool, I fully support marriage.) do not be offended.  I love you.  And hopefully the person you are married to.  But, seriously, never bring a framed picture of your husband when you come visit.  Not okay...

Click Here
And Here
And Here
Last One...

Some times you just have to laugh...
Roll on with yo bad self.

-Prinsass.  Currently not married. 

The Jackpot

Okay.  What I am about to write is somewhat ridonkulous.  I am aware. So here goes.  Tonight, for a solid hour, I was 1% 75% certain that I was going to win the Powerball jackpot.  Crazy.  I know.  I never play the lottery, but I got swept up in million dollar fantasy land and went and got some tickets with a partner in crime.  Then we got to the gas station and started filling out tge tickets.  I did not play it smooth at this point.  I panicked.  I had no idea what numbers to do and it was stressing me out.  But, I persevered and did it.  We were going to split our millions.  I knew, deep down, that we had a 1 in 175 million chance, but I had a glimmer of hope.  It was quite fun dreaming up what I would do with my monies.  So I will just lay it out here:

First off, I would keep it hush hush.  A mysterious millionaire.  Eventually, word would get out, but I would enjoy my millionaire privacy for a bit.  You know- some sacred moments before People magazine wants me on their cover...  Then all of the crazies come out of the woodwork.

I would throw an incredible party.  I'm talking bands, food truck rodeo, ice luge sculpture of moi, friends, prizes and goody bags galore.  It would be epic.  Lots of tambourine action.

I would acquire a plantation. Nothing to fancy.  In the Ace Basin. On deep water.  With a really cool house.  Maybe a few guest cottages so I could have some friends.  I will also hire a ridiculously good looking (maybe Luke Bryan or Tim Riggins) caretaker.  We would accidentally and miraculously happen to fall in love and live happily ever after. Just throwing it out there.  It could happen.

I would find a perfect cottage-ish house in the Old Village.  Maybe do some renovations.  It must have a music room, a library, a gun chamber and some beadboard.  It would also have Diet Mt. Dew, Blue Moon and Fireball on tap.  Priorities.

I would build the best ever Young Life camp.  I'm talking wave pool, wake boarding, shooting, go carts, 4 wheelers, zip lines, horses, good bands, a baller food court, sports, ponds, pools, half pipes etc.  You name it.

I would donate a significant chunk to some charities.  I would also have to do some tithing.

I would buy back Optimus Prime, the Tahoe.  I would then also probs make a new car purchase.  Or two.

An old Hewes flats boat would be trailered up to Optimus Prime.  And maybe a few more four wheelers.  And possibly an old motorcycle...

I would then retire and do some good ole volunteering.

I would share some of the wealth with friends and the family. Surprise trips.  Surprise gifts.  Maybe a million here, a million there.  You never know.

I would take people to lunch like it was no body's business.  Mozzo would have to name a sandwich after me..

I would then save all of the rest of it.  Using it for good deeds when opportunities arose.

Sadly.  We did not win.  Hopes have been dashed, but I think I will survive.  We lost, but there is always next time...
Buying tickets with a minor is standard procedure:)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Fashion no no.

This woman wearing these tights.
These tights.  no mam.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Gobble Gobble.

Lots and lots to be thankful for.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

OMG

Pinned Image
If you make your friends dress up like Disney princesses, I'm pretty sure you're not ready for marriage.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Dear Buff Man in denim

Today you caught me staring at you.  It wasn't necessarily staring, but we made awkward eye contact...  Not because of your perfectly tanned body and nice looking muscles.  (Confession: that is the first thing that did catch my eye).  No, what kept me staring was the sight of your shirtless self playing tennis.  In tight blue jeans. Hello?  I'm trying to work here.  I will be the first to admit it- you were cute.  But I just could not reconcile the blue jeans while playing tennis. Shirtless (it was not hot outside).  I have the same feeling when I see someone walking/running the bridge in jeans or jorts.  It just can't possibly end well for you.  Those things are just not for sports... or any kind of running.  Denim and athletics is just not a good situation.  For anyone.  And every time you hit it toward your opposing partner you would yell "Come on baby."  Ew.  And your partner.  In her little tennis outfit.  We all know how I feel about this.  She would make some kind of grunt every time she hit it.  Trust me.  She was no Venus.  I think Mama from Mama's used cars could hit the ball harder.  With no pansy grunt.  I was about to ask her if she needed some instruction. I just couldn't take it.  If I have to hear "yeah baby" or "come on baby" one more time...

I almost threw up. 

And yes.  I did creepily and stealthily sneak a pic from my client's porch.  I couldn't help it...

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Getting Hitched

(There are lots of pics, bail out if you have legit things to do) I was very lucky in high school.  I was incredibly lucky to have a very tight, loyal, awesome group of friends.  We kinda got together through Young Life (I will write more on this another day) and have been lucky enough to stay friends ever since.  We are all incredibly different, yet we have been pretty great for each other.  Some of the best moments of my life have been spent with these girls.  We have had some truly amazing times together, we've walked out some very hard things and we have gotten to see each other grow up.  Here we are in our glory days..
And then we somehow all made it to college...
Now here comes the point of this trip down memory lane.  My friends are pretty awesome.  It just so happens that this weekend, my dear friend Beth "the shit" Simmons (Pardon the language, but it is a nickname) got married.  So many of our group were back in town and it was AWESOME.  It just felt so good to know everyone was here.  Even if we weren't hanging out.  Just knowing that they were in the 843 did this little heart good.  Beth is a very special part of our group. She is mostly in charge:)  And that's what I love about her.  Beth is one of the best people that I know.  I love her whole family.  You have read about them on here before.  Team Shirley.  Her mom, Shirley, passed away this summer and she is truly one of the best people I have known.  Beth is a whole lot like her and I think that is so cool.  Every single year, Beth and her mom put on the Christmas dinner.  These people don't do anything halfway.  Trust me.  Hostesses with the mostesses.  I can't even describe.  Shirlz could accessorize any event to make you feel so special.  I have never seen someone come close to having the gift of hospitality like Mrs. Shirley did.  She made us feel like we were so special and important.   
Missing people are always inserted into the group pics...
Christmas parties just weren't enough for these people.  They had to start getting married...
Which forces me to do things like this..
Beth is one of the funniest people that I will ever know.  There is just no comparison.  She can quote almost any movie.  We used to make videos at her house in the middle of the night and I would literally wet my pants laughing..  You will never, ever see those.  In case you are wondering.  She is one of the only people that will sing Bone thugz in Harmony and Kaci and JoJo with me.  

Basically this picture below sums up our friendship.  I think it took me hours to recover from this moment.  If I even recovered...
I love these people oh so much.  They were each such a huge part of my growing up.  
The blushing bride:)
We like to have a good time..
Look how cute we are:)
I still can't believe little beffearey is a married woman.  In fact, she is a technically a preachers wife..  In honor of Beth, I went all out people.  Straight hair, makeup, painted nails and a pashmina.  Yes, I now know what that is.  You heard right.  Growing up...  It was so good to be with my people again.  Especially on the dance floor:)  That's where I do my best bonding...
The parental units came too!
In honor of Beth, we had an after party
 Especially enjoyed reuniting with this one
Sorry for the marathon of pics, but I just can't help it.  I like my people.  It is so fun (and interesting) to see everyone all semi grown up now.  I am sad this weekend is over, but more so, I am so very thankful to still get to see these people every once in a while.  I look forward to about 60 more years of this stuff.  Right?  All in all, it was a delightful wedding weekend.

Get down on it,

Prinsass.