Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Jackpot

Okay.  What I am about to write is somewhat ridonkulous.  I am aware. So here goes.  Tonight, for a solid hour, I was 1% 75% certain that I was going to win the Powerball jackpot.  Crazy.  I know.  I never play the lottery, but I got swept up in million dollar fantasy land and went and got some tickets with a partner in crime.  Then we got to the gas station and started filling out tge tickets.  I did not play it smooth at this point.  I panicked.  I had no idea what numbers to do and it was stressing me out.  But, I persevered and did it.  We were going to split our millions.  I knew, deep down, that we had a 1 in 175 million chance, but I had a glimmer of hope.  It was quite fun dreaming up what I would do with my monies.  So I will just lay it out here:

First off, I would keep it hush hush.  A mysterious millionaire.  Eventually, word would get out, but I would enjoy my millionaire privacy for a bit.  You know- some sacred moments before People magazine wants me on their cover...  Then all of the crazies come out of the woodwork.

I would throw an incredible party.  I'm talking bands, food truck rodeo, ice luge sculpture of moi, friends, prizes and goody bags galore.  It would be epic.  Lots of tambourine action.

I would acquire a plantation. Nothing to fancy.  In the Ace Basin. On deep water.  With a really cool house.  Maybe a few guest cottages so I could have some friends.  I will also hire a ridiculously good looking (maybe Luke Bryan or Tim Riggins) caretaker.  We would accidentally and miraculously happen to fall in love and live happily ever after. Just throwing it out there.  It could happen.

I would find a perfect cottage-ish house in the Old Village.  Maybe do some renovations.  It must have a music room, a library, a gun chamber and some beadboard.  It would also have Diet Mt. Dew, Blue Moon and Fireball on tap.  Priorities.

I would build the best ever Young Life camp.  I'm talking wave pool, wake boarding, shooting, go carts, 4 wheelers, zip lines, horses, good bands, a baller food court, sports, ponds, pools, half pipes etc.  You name it.

I would donate a significant chunk to some charities.  I would also have to do some tithing.

I would buy back Optimus Prime, the Tahoe.  I would then also probs make a new car purchase.  Or two.

An old Hewes flats boat would be trailered up to Optimus Prime.  And maybe a few more four wheelers.  And possibly an old motorcycle...

I would then retire and do some good ole volunteering.

I would share some of the wealth with friends and the family. Surprise trips.  Surprise gifts.  Maybe a million here, a million there.  You never know.

I would take people to lunch like it was no body's business.  Mozzo would have to name a sandwich after me..

I would then save all of the rest of it.  Using it for good deeds when opportunities arose.

Sadly.  We did not win.  Hopes have been dashed, but I think I will survive.  We lost, but there is always next time...
Buying tickets with a minor is standard procedure:)

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