Stop. The following words are highly dramatic. Read at your own risk:
The anxiety and panic set in on Thursday. The eve of my dermatology appointment. I realized that I was 26 and was too scared to get my ears pierced at Claire's. So of course, I opted for the high maintenance route of going to Dr. Stafford. So yesterday I had to go pick out some earrings. Terrible experience. Now I know why I don't like this stuff. I picked out some bling bling and some of that clear stuff that you clean your ear with. (Reason #2398 why I could never get other piercings or a tat. I'm a pansy). So there goes $35 + The trauma of going into Claire's and explaining why you aren't getting them pierced there. Plus they refused to pierce it due to a small bump on the back of my ear. TMI? Sorry. I couldn't fall asleep last night. For several reasons. One being that I was going to the Dermatologist. It just makes me anxiety ridden... Like I said, I am a pansy. So I awake well before the sun. Decide to go on a walk. Play some temple run. Then shower and head out. So I arrived at 8:45. For my 9 am appointment with destiny. Wrong. According to the not such a morning person associate, my appointment was not until 9:30. Awesome. Should have brought Temple Run in. I filled out the 2.5 million papers and sat there waiting. Creating terrible vain imaginings and possible outcomes of today's appointment. Yes, I know. I have issues. I thought about dashing out of there on several occasions, but I have a dear friend who works there and she could easily hunt me down. What if the small bump is CANCER. What if it is far worse then I ever imagined. If it's cancer, will I lose my hair? Will they cut off part of my ear like they did my lip the last time? Now I will never attract a cute husband.. Sheesh. And what will happen to my unborn children?? See how extreme we went?? It was the office's fault though for leaving me waiting for so dang long. Do you see where I am going with this? It was a bad situation. But I persevered. Then they called my name. At 10:04.... I forgot to breathe. Then headed down the hall to my destiny.... They put me in the room and shut the door. Left me there to read about skin cancer. Which then made me thoroughly examine all of my freckles.... Insert more vain imaginings. After reading about golfers and skin cancer, Dr. Stafford came in. He looked at my bump. Then I told him my professional opinion. He stared at me. I then listed all of my disclaimers. He laid down the diagnoses. You have a cyst. He added a bunch of medical words, but then assured me it was no worry. If I want to get my ear pierced I must make an appointment to have the beautiful cyst removed. Then wait for it to heal. Then make another appointment. Then come back and get it pierced. AIN'T HAPPENING. No earring is worth all of that. Sorry. I will be doing some clip on shopping in the near future. I happily exited. Thank God he didn't try to stick a big A needle in my ear. I brought no back up or moral support for me. I would have panicked and prolly died on the spot. Here is the kicker. I saw the Dr for approximately 4 minutes (I timed it). Guess how much that was?? $156. Holy Moly. Thank goodness I found my insurance card....(Thank you Heidi:) I exited the office much happier than when I entered. Just a moment ago, I got a concerned call from my fashion advisor, Katie Wags. Very concerned that I had not gotten stabbed with the needle. She said, "Sass, you need your ears pierced. No I don't. Yes you do. How are you going to wear diamond earrings?? Well, if I happen to meet someone that wants to give me some diamond earrings, then that cyst is out of here:) True story.
Here's to the price of beauty. And to clip ons,