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I am a hot mess express going full throttle

Friday, June 17, 2011

Where did my friends go??

This is a rhetorical question because I actually know where it is that they went, but I have 2% of me that would like to be dramatic at the moment.  Let me pause, (pause-deep breath) I am about to share something that has been on my heart for a little while.  Please do not take this the wrong way.  This post is not meant to put a negative spin on anything that will be talked about below.  It is just something that I, Sarah,  have been coping with.  Just me.  I like to process by writing and what not.  Alright.  Here goes.  So I have been having a little bit of a coping situation at church.  Just bare with me folks.  A while back, I would walk into church and there would literally be 20 of my closest friends.  Seriously.  It was like a 1.5 hr social utopia.  That may also be dramatic.  Church would finish up, then I would walk outside and everyone would be standing outside suggesting places to go to lunch. Which is funny because we always went to Andolinis anyways.  I loved it.  In fact, I will go as far as to say that it was glorious.  It is a tidbit different nowadays.  Since City Church started (this is in no way bad about City Church, I just straight up miss my people) I have like 2 close friends (my age) that still go to old school St. A's. No lie, most of my friends are downtown now.  I guess I just get sad.  I feel like I don't have a community to be in that's my age.  So why don't I just go down there?  Well, I actually prayed about it and don't think that I am supposed to.  I don't want to just go down there because it's what my friends do.  Except on the fun party in the park days...hehe.  It's been a tough transition.  Now I usually just sit by myself unless one of my older friends (that have families) gives me the nod to come sit.  Don't get me wrong, I love my older friends.  To pieces.  I just feel bad that I bombard their families with myself.  Lately I have just been looking around during the service trying to see if I know people.  Weird huh?  Sorry it's true.  If you find me staring at you during communion...now you know.  That's not a bad thing.  Now new people are coming.  Different things are happening.  We are all growing in different ways.  I just am not sure what to do with it at this present moment.  I start thinking that my friends are going to forget about me or something.  Even though I know thta they won't..hopefully.  I know you probably think I am a dork or whatever, I just wanted to share this.  I then happened to read this today in Jesus Calling:

"I have called each of my children to a different path, distinctly designed for that one.  Do not let anyone convince you that his path is the only right way.  And be careful not to extol your path as superior to another's way.  What I require of you is to act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with me-wherever I lead."

So basically, I need to not worry what other people are doing or if I missing out on something.  I need to just be where I am called to be.  I need to be content.  I need to learn to abide where I am.  Who knows what kind of opporunities the Lord has over here?  I guess this was more of a pep talk to myself....Don't judge. 

SRS

1 comment:

  1. i love you and your beautiful heart Sarah Sass. thanks for the word...always good to be reminded to delight in where the Lord has me.

    -a. reed

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