Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Betty the M.O.H.

So go ahead and laugh.  I did too.  Still do.  I received this lovely portrait in the mail last week.  Along with some questions. Like will you be in my wedding?  & How do you feel about being the maid of honor?  The questions were open ended and she said I could get back to her later....Side note-It is not good to give me open-ended ?'s because it is likely that I will not voluntarily answer them.  Just speaking the truth.  Let me rewind.  (I may get in trouble for this, but I'm not positive.  I am not supposed to disclose too much, but I have never really had a good gauge for that..This is more about me anyways)  Betty has been on a bit of a sabbatical of sorts.  From many things.   Weddings especially.  However, one of my besties (Logan) got engaged last month so I started to get that nervous feeling, but I honestly didn't know how things were going to go down.   I mean, one never knows how all of this goes down until it happens.  Well I had a few missed calls from the blushing bride to be, so I started to wonder if this was it.  Naturally, I went into avoid/withdraw mode and was a bit slack in getting back to her.  Sorry Logs.  She actually gave me a little warning before the lovely portrait from above arrived at the Girl Palace.  I think I finally called her back on a Friday.  While at work.  She said I should sit down.  I knew it was a comin.  A waive of nausea set in (the good kind), but I held my ground.  I contemplated lying about a conference call or something, but let's be honest, I am not important enough to have conference calls.  They do sound cool though.  She knows me pretty well, so I think she was expecting it.  She popped the question quickly. Of course, I gave a nervous laugh, then gracefully accepted.  No where near ready for the next part.  She then said she had something else.  I thought she was going to ask me to rap during her 1st dance or something.  Or do a synchronized dance at the reception (which I would have gladly accepted:) Nah.  She said, "Sass, will you be my m.o.h?"  M.o.h?  What the heck is a m.o.h?  She then explained.  MAID. OF. HONOR.  I was a bit silent.  You know, a true lady composes her thoughts before she speaks....I think I may have actually forgotten to breathe for a spell.  Thoughts came rushing in the ole head.  I mean, I have no idea how to be a m.o.h.  What's the protocol?  Where is the handbook?  I can't walk in heels?  I have no makeup?  OMG.  I may need a date!  every m.o.h always has a date.  Well actually they usually have a boyfriend or a fiance, but I'm not even going there.  I'm not graceful.  Everyone watches you because by the time you come tripping down the aisle, they just want the bride.  The bachelorette weekend.  I think that falls under the m.o.h.  Decisions.  I am so not good at making decisions.  Bad ones maybe....All of these thoughts started racing through my head.  Anxiety started building up.  I think I was about to lose consciousness when Logan got my attention back.  I'm telling you, she knows me well people.  She assured me that all would be fine.  And that I would be able to be a legit m.o.h.  (You know, a lil confidence kick in the rear.  Some boosting)  I soon began to realize, that yes, Betty could be up for this challenge.  Right Betty?  So here we are.  Several weddings under Betty's bridesmaid belt.  Now we are a m.o.h.  Who would have ever thought that I would ever be a m.o.h?  (I never did)  Word.  Proud of it.  So Logs, get ready because Betty is in serious bridesmaidenship training.  Starting now.  You won't even know what hit you.  I am on the bridesmaid regime.  The m.o.h. extreme regime.  I will look at dresses.  Go to tastings.  Maybe wear lipstick.  Maybe get my ears pierced.  Plan things.  Learn to use a calender.  Learn proper etiquette.  Get a filter.  Learn some dances besides the wheelchair and the sprinkler.  I will make you proud.  All in the name of Betty.  So here we go.  You won't know what hit you.

In it to win it,

Betty Bridesmaid, the m.o.h


  1. So proud. You can do it. We will be here for you. What an awesome moh you will be, and what an honor. Can't wait to read all about it. That will be the best part. Entertainment every day for the next few months. No pressure. love you much.

  2. rock on BETTY!! love you long time!