Betty the M.O.H.

So go ahead and laugh.  I did too.  Still do.  I received this lovely portrait in the mail last week.  Along with some questions. Like will you be in my wedding?  & How do you feel about being the maid of honor?  The questions were open ended and she said I could get back to her later....Side note-It is not good to give me open-ended ?'s because it is likely that I will not voluntarily answer them.  Just speaking the truth.  Let me rewind.  (I may get in trouble for this, but I'm not positive.  I am not supposed to disclose too much, but I have never really had a good gauge for that..This is more about me anyways)  Betty has been on a bit of a sabbatical of sorts.  From many things.   Weddings especially.  However, one of my besties (Logan) got engaged last month so I started to get that nervous feeling, but I honestly didn't know how things were going to go down.   I mean, one never knows how all of this goes down until it happens.  Well I had a few missed calls from the blushing bride to be, so I started to wonder if this was it.  Naturally, I went into avoid/withdraw mode and was a bit slack in getting back to her.  Sorry Logs.  She actually gave me a little warning before the lovely portrait from above arrived at the Girl Palace.  I think I finally called her back on a Friday.  While at work.  She said I should sit down.  I knew it was a comin.  A waive of nausea set in (the good kind), but I held my ground.  I contemplated lying about a conference call or something, but let's be honest, I am not important enough to have conference calls.  They do sound cool though.  She knows me pretty well, so I think she was expecting it.  She popped the question quickly. Of course, I gave a nervous laugh, then gracefully accepted.  No where near ready for the next part.  She then said she had something else.  I thought she was going to ask me to rap during her 1st dance or something.  Or do a synchronized dance at the reception (which I would have gladly accepted:) Nah.  She said, "Sass, will you be my m.o.h?"  M.o.h?  What the heck is a m.o.h?  She then explained.  MAID. OF. HONOR.  I was a bit silent.  You know, a true lady composes her thoughts before she speaks....I think I may have actually forgotten to breathe for a spell.  Thoughts came rushing in the ole head.  I mean, I have no idea how to be a m.o.h.  What's the protocol?  Where is the handbook?  I can't walk in heels?  I have no makeup?  OMG.  I may need a date!  every m.o.h always has a date.  Well actually they usually have a boyfriend or a fiance, but I'm not even going there.  I'm not graceful.  Everyone watches you because by the time you come tripping down the aisle, they just want the bride.  The bachelorette weekend.  I think that falls under the m.o.h.  Decisions.  I am so not good at making decisions.  Bad ones maybe....All of these thoughts started racing through my head.  Anxiety started building up.  I think I was about to lose consciousness when Logan got my attention back.  I'm telling you, she knows me well people.  She assured me that all would be fine.  And that I would be able to be a legit m.o.h.  (You know, a lil confidence kick in the rear.  Some boosting)  I soon began to realize, that yes, Betty could be up for this challenge.  Right Betty?  So here we are.  Several weddings under Betty's bridesmaid belt.  Now we are a m.o.h.  Who would have ever thought that I would ever be a m.o.h?  (I never did)  Word.  Proud of it.  So Logs, get ready because Betty is in serious bridesmaidenship training.  Starting now.  You won't even know what hit you.  I am on the bridesmaid regime.  The m.o.h. extreme regime.  I will look at dresses.  Go to tastings.  Maybe wear lipstick.  Maybe get my ears pierced.  Plan things.  Learn to use a calender.  Learn proper etiquette.  Get a filter.  Learn some dances besides the wheelchair and the sprinkler.  I will make you proud.  All in the name of Betty.  So here we go.  You won't know what hit you.

In it to win it,

Betty Bridesmaid, the m.o.h