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Friday, August 2, 2013

Slapped

I actually picked up Jesus Calling today (closest thing to a Bible that has graced my hands in a while).   I wasn't loving today's, but happened to catch yesterday's and I think it was what I needed to read today. It basically reiterates Roman 8:38.  Nothing can separate us from God.  Nothing.  I will admit that I have been in a terrible mood this week.  Due to my car trying to kill me and missing Rob.  Plus life just gets tiring sometimes.  I actually decided that I had a black cloud of crap tailing me the past year... I know, I know.  I do not believe that, but I did stoop a little low this week.  Sometimes I just have to vent.  Jesus Calling says, "In the midst of adverse circumstances, people tend to feel that love has been withdrawn and they have been forsaken."  I'm not saying I feel forsaken, but sometimes you can feel a little run down.  Or bitch slapped by life.. You pick.  I'm going with bitch slapped.  It's hard to keep your eyes on Christ and your heart in the right place when you don't feel it.  I am not exactly sure what "it" is.  My problem is that I sometimes will just deal.  I take it all in, but don't necessarily let it out.  And when it does come out... RUN.  No for real, get out of the way...  I always have all of these thoughts and expectations.  When they don't get met, I either turn to rely on myself or keep it all in.  When I keep it all in, the thoughts usually become negative and you know how the story goes.  So where am I today?  I did a little self evaluating and have come to this conclusion.  Lately, I haven't felt close to God.  Mostly because of my own self.  I also feel like I can't usually explain properly my thoughts and that sometimes makes it hard to get them out.  And then I feel like a freak..  Yada yada yada.  But, today I am praying that I operate in peace.  That I trust He is with me.  I pray that I know nothing can separate and that all will work out or be alright.  I pray against worry.  I have been a gold medalist in the worry department, but I'm hoping that I medal in something else.  I also pray that one day, my thought patterns/processing patterns/habits change.  That I go straight to the Lord.  (miracles happen..)  My greatest prayer is that I know His presence and that I will operate from a state of peace.  Praying this for you too:)

Romans 8:38-39

New International Version (NIV)
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And I think I'm going to look forward to this:

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