Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Friday, August 23, 2013

soul food

E.E. Cummings always has the right words.
I can't remember if I have already posted this quote by E. E. Cummings before, but I don't think soaking it in one more time would be too terrible for any of us.  To me, this quote makes my heart full.  Here's why.  I 100% think this is true.  For me at least.  I often find myself more insecure than I'd like to think.  I am scared of people, I'm always worried if people don't like me and I am a doubter.  I used to think that I always had to be funny or people wouldn't like me.  There. I said it.(whew)  But over the last few years I have learned that is not the case.  I have realized that I'm a needer of affirmation/encouragement.  I often will get ideas, but I will go ahead and shoot them down before any one else could even have one iota of a chance.  But, every once in a while- someone beats me to it.  Instead of a shoot down, there is encouragement.  Sometimes we are too inwardly focused and need to see/hear from someone else. Someone that we know loves us and wants the best for us.  No matter what.  I am a first hand recipient of this.  It started with my parents, then with my YL leader and then with a few friends now.  I can remember very clearly a few conversations lately that (and I know that I did not show it) have been life changers.  Simple words.  Whether they were meant to pierce my heart or not they did.  And they needed too.  I am my own worst enemy most times and I know that I can get stuck in that.  But THANK GOD there are people willing to put it out there and do life with me (the hot mess express).  I can be sitting, having a normal conversation and all of a sudden, my heart will just start racing and I will hear the one voice.  The voice of encouragement.  The voice of trust.  The voice of worthiness.  Something just clicks and it's like all of a sudden I realize that maybe I can do something.  Maybe I too am worthy or capable of doing something valuable.  Sometimes, I think someone else has to believe in me before I will believe in myself.  And I think this is important.  It's very important to receive it, but it is, in my opinion, equally as important to give it away.  If we can learn to see past people and see into their hearts, maybe we can see what the Lord has for them.  Maybe we can see just who the Lords wants them to be.  And we have this sacred opportunity to encourage them.  We have the chance to help them feel worthy.  We have this chance to do life together.  To love one another.  Just a few words or some quality time can be a life changer.  I know this is true.  And I think this is what loving each other is all about.  It's hard. It's messy.  But it's worth it.  Lives can be changed.  Even saved.  I think it's just a glimpse of the kingdom poking in:)

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