The Freak Fest
Megan and I had a lil convo tonight in which she said I was having a "freak fest." Who, me? Ha. Okay, maybe it was a small freak fest, but nobody's perfect. You see, I usually don't let things bother me, but eventually things build up and out comes the freak fest in me. Actually that's a lie. Things do bother me, I just mostly choose not to mention them. This practice eventually leads to a breakdown or freak out of some sort (they are few and far between, but un-fun nonetheless) . ("Build Up" is not exactly the best strategy to go by) Then it's funny when I finally do say what's on my mind (out loud)-it sounds ridiculous. Ridiculous, but true. Luckily Megan is semi used to this. I would like to tell you tonight's freak fest topic, but it's too ridiculous to write on the Internet highway. Sorry. Anyways, we covered many things, but she reminded me of something Cassie once told us:
YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL, BE IT ALL AND DO IT ALL.
*This maybe one of the wisest statements that I have heard. If only I would remember it on a daily basis.
Tonight at small group we talked about Accountability . Not so much about right and wrong and what not, but about what it takes to build accountability with each other. Like Trust, Humility and Relationship. And how you need to be operating in Grace and Truth, not either or. For some reason it really got me thinking about my relationships and how I haven't been the best at maintaining/building friendships. (This is what led to the so called freak fest) Honestly, I just don't know how to do it. This may sound dumb to you, but I love my people. And Lately, I haven't done the best at loving them like I could. For some reason I have a hard time finding some kind of balance. (I never thought I would be saying things like this...) Work has put a slight damper on my "hang out" time. Each week seems to fly by faster than the last and then I go days or weeks with out seeing or talking to some of my favorite/best friends. Unintentionally might add. And then they probably get hurt feelings or something. Then you throw in all of the things I want to do, but really shouldn't-even though they are mostly good things. Then we have a bad situation. Overload. So I am not really sure what to do about it. That's where I am with that. Please drop me any suggestions to solving this problem if you so feel the urge. I love all of you. At the same time. Long time. Run and tell that (sorry, I had to throw a little Antoine Dodson up in here..)
Currently jamming to Eric Hutchinson's "Back to where I was" and the new Sara Bareilles cd. Its pretty stellar.