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Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Internal thoughts of Myself

I don't have a lot to report on this Sunday night, but I just wanted to say you should listen to this: http://www.wearestandrews.com/userfiles/files/Sermon_Files/July-Sep2010/2010_0808_God_Sends.mp3

Also I am on a serious musical/songwriting kick right now.  Loving it.  My roommates are probably hating it.  Oh well.  Can't please everybody.  I absolutely love playing my guitar.  To the point of playing too much, but we can't all be perfect.

This is dangerous, but I have been thinking about a lot of stuff lately.   I am in no way complaining when I say this, but there is a lot of stuff I want to do.  Like volunteer more, go more places, I want to go to Africa..maybe, do more things that are completely out of my comfort zone, try new things, work harder, be nicer (in general), and just simplify.  I want to lead a simple life.  Is that weird? I have no idea exactly what all of this means, but it all constantly dominates my daily thoughts.  And it's not that I don't like what I am doing. I love it.  I LOVE where I live and who I live with.  Sometimes I just wonder what I am really doing?  I don't want to get stuck just going through the motions and get trapped in a routine. Or maybe I am about to enter a quarter life crisis.  I think a part of this is because summer is slowly winding down and routine and scheduling is upon us. I used to just do things to do them and bc I had a serious problem saying no to things.  I get overwhelmed with things and relationships become unmanageable.  This may sound weird to you, I'm not sure-but I feel like I failed at a lot of relationships.  Some of it was because I had to wear big girl pants and work so I couldn't do my usual hanging out all day long.  But I found that the days seemed to fly by and then the days became weeks and so on.  And I was making new friends, but was missing old ones etc...I could not find a balance.  However, I did learn a ton this year so it wasn't all bad..This year is going to be different for me.  I am going to intentionally pick what I am going to do and not do.  Like I have been agonizing about this whole City Church thing.  For the wrong reason.  So many people I love are going to help out.  For weeks I have been trying to decide what I was doing.  Then being me-I tried to figure how I could do both.  DUMB.  All along I knew I wasn't supposed to do it, but I didn't want to miss out..so TYPICAL.  I am excited to say that I am going to help hold down the fort in Mt. Perfect.  I am really pumped about this lil decision.  That is just a side note. I am going to be more intentional in with my friends.  On that note, I am so excited to have Logan back in this beautiful state. And I am so so excited to have Beth back in Charleston.  Moving on.   I think Cassie would be pretty excited about this posting because she has basically spent 2 years trying to teach us all about margin, boundaries and saying no, but she will probably never read this.    Basically things are going to be different this year. I know I tell myself this pretty much every year, but I am serious.  And now I have written it on here.  To you.  I can't not give it a go knowing you have read this.  Not sure who you actually is, but that is neither here nor there.  Basically you are holding me accountable to this.  So don't fail....

Ok.  I have bored you enough with these ramblings.  I hope you have a delightful night.  I have a candle lit and am going to try and finish Glass Castle tonight.  Good night.

Currently playing on repeat: "ten thousand" by John Mark McMillan.

1 comment:

  1. im glad you are in a guitar kick because ive been guitar slacking this year, and when i get back i gotta catch up and learn a lot from you!

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