Housewife A La Sass

I have a few things to say tonight.  Many of you (well I don't know if anyone besides my mom and Stephen actually read this) are wondering about the title of this post.  I will address it in a minute.  Tonight's post is going to be a bit like a melting pot of topics.  So here goes:


Monday.  Me, Lulie, Megan and Beth went to the ATL.  We went to see our dear friends Ray Lamontagne, David Gray and Allison McCarthy.  AMAZING.  All three at the same time. No lie-one of the best concerts I have been to. Beth and I had amazing seats with funny people who gave us free beer.  And they were cute.  It was a win win.  Basically I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  No idea David Gray was so cool.  Moving on.


Today I got some really great news.  Insert major sarcasm at this point.  Some idiot box got a hold of my debit card number and decided to do some joyful spending. Forever 21 and Murphy's USA. $350. Real classy people. I really appreciate it.  I love talking to bank reps and getting my card cancelled.  And then being told I have to wait 10-14 business days for a new one.  Super pumped.  Give me your address and I will be sure to send you a thank you note.  Or even pay you a personal visit.


I have a serious fashion question. Carol Hannah-if you are reading this you may be able to help.  DISCLAIMER: I mean no harm or foul when I express my opinions on this topic.  Please do not quit being my friend or think I hate you.  Ok. Glad I got that out of the way.  What the heck is up with Rompers?  I do not get it.  I 100% dislike them. I am no fashionista as you are well aware.  But I got to say that rompers can not be cool.  It is an adult onesie people.  I took the liberty of looking up what a romper is on google.  rompers: A loosely fitted, one-piece garment having short bloomers that is worn especially by small children for play.  Case and point.  Worn by small children. Ages 15-54 is not considered small children.  I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I'm not a fan by any means.  I mean, they have themed ones.  Sorry.  Just had to get that off of my chest.  


Betsy and I just watched the Last Song. Yes, the one with Miley Cyrus.  I cried.  A little lot.  I don't know what came over me.  I may be a little emotional this week.  Ok-I have been a lot emotional.  So Betsy are sitting there and somehow we start talking about housewives.  And I suddenly realized that I, Sarah, would be an amazing housewife.  Right about now you are wondering what the heck is wrong with me, but just track with me a second. HW's are cool.  I believe I possess a certain type of skills that would be good in the housewife arena.  Now I'm not talking some snobby, tennis playing, nails getting done princess.  I'm talking legit bad *ss house wife.  What qualifies one for this?  
-Awesome cooking skills is very important.  I can make some good stuff.  I specialize on the grill and what not.

-Gardening.  I come from a strong background of green thumbs in my family.  I like to grow flowers, herbs and veggies.  Just living off the land you know.
-I like home furnishings more than the average person.  Well, if they come from Celadon. Or Anthropology.
-I have guns.  Not the muscle kind.  The real kind.  So I can protect the house.  Just ask my roommates.  Well, don't ask them bc they don't exactly share my love for firearms. 
-Not a big spender.  I like to be conservative in the $$ department.  So I am economical.
-I don't make a mess.  And I am not a terrible cleaner.
-I have kid friends.  This is key.  Its very important to have a wide variety of friends both young and old. Sometimes I can be found playing XBOX.  I'm not ashamed.  I like some of my kid friends more than some of the ones my own age.  Is that a crime?  Hope not.
-I have old friends.  I like old people.  (No, I'm not talking 40's. ) I'm taking grandmas.  I love em.  
-All the in betweens.  From kids to oldies. I love em all.  Thats important while being a HW.  You never know who could need your help/advice.  You always have to be on your toes.
-Luncher. I am pretty stellar at going to lunch. (however I have taken a break from this)  I love going to lunch with people. Pretty good at it.  Like to change it up a lot.  


So there you have it.  Not everyone has those set of skills.  Its natural.  Only one little problem. I haven't landed the husband part yet.  Now I'm not out on the prowl or anything, but I am aware that in order to be a housewife, one needs a husband.  One that has a job to support the housewifeness.  So please don't be getting the wrong idea about me.  I am not out searching for Mr. Right.  I just happened to have a revelation and Betsy told me I needed to record it.  There it is.  

Good Night,
SRS