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I am a hot mess express going full throttle

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Thoughts from Gryffindor Tower: Woman hood

Listen, I will just be 100% real here.  Being a girl is hard.  All you boys can just stop reading now, because you probably don't want to hear this.  Plus you have it so easy that you have no freaking clue.  I'm 27 years old.  I have made it pretty darn far under the blinders of my tomboy ish ness.  I've been desperately avoiding the inevitable transformation into woman hood.  I've been rolling around with un brushed hair, long sleeve t shirts, shorts, chacos, hats etc.  The number one concern has been comfort.    Well, maybe I got a little too comfy..  With the prodding of several fashion advisers, I've felt a little bit of a challenge. To up the game a bit.  At first I was all "hell no."  (Little bit of pride up in there somewhere).  But, over the last few months, I've come around a bit.  It was becoming apparent that one would not attract an independently wealthy husband (in perfect world thinking) (a little dramatic I know) whilst rocking the backwards hat and long sleeve tee.  Although that is my down home choice and we can't just change everything right away.  Anywho.  So I have made some baby steps. I got Toms.  I got moisturizer.  I got a hair product.  I got colored pants. White shorts. Stripes galore over here.  But it is stinking over freaking whelming.  You can't just got for a hair cut.  Once you are there, you may as well get waxed.  Because god forbid you have an eyebrow with a little extra growth on it.  Then you have to have your nails looking good if you are going to be wearing chacos.  Which technically is a no no and I am now on the prowl for nicer flats/sandals etc.  How do you even know if what you are picking out is good?  I mean, every 7th grade girl I know dresses like a million bucks.  Skinny or straight leg?  Flat or sandal?  Do Toms even count as a flat?  What if you wear a size 11 shoe and are forced to get boy Toms because no other woman has the Yorktown for feet??  I can't even begin to address the beauty product situation.  That is a cluster.  Too many damn choices.  I just want to cry when I am looking.  Do I need firming creams?  Anti aging?  I can't be old enough for that yet??  Oil free?  There is no end in sight.  Even the shampoo people have gone overboard.  It is a vortex of choices, indecision and trauma.  Then you need to accessorize.  I just like to rock my watch.  I always wanted to sport bangles, but I'm pretty sure my wrists are ginormous compared to the tiny little frail anthropologie people's wrists.  It's a lose lose.  Then you throw in all the woman crap that comes along with being a woman.  Crazy.  I don't even fully comprehend all of it.  But most of it is a pain in the you know what.  All for what?  The fairy tale.  The fairy tale that you see on Pinterest or in all the magazines.  All the hard work to keep up with the modern woman. 

This is going to be a long, long, long process.....

Okay, I'll stop now...

Cheers.

2 comments:

  1. Proud of you...it is overwhelming....I look at anthropologist j crew lands end banana Rep and get a feel for the styles...then look around on the cheap....classic is always best...like the Tom's for you;);its overwhelming to all of us I am afraid....find a look you like and stick w it in several colors....that's how I roll;);mandy

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  2. this is no joke...i couldn't have said it better myself. baby steps!

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