Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Are we there yet?

Things, moments, events happen all of the time.  Things that give us perspective.  Things that help us become who we are and more importantly, who we hope to be.  Over the past 4 months I'd say that I have experienced more of these "life things" than I'd have liked.  Both good and bad.  But, guess what?  Nothing I can do about it.  Some I welcomed.  Some I resisted.  Some hit me like a flipping ton of bricks.  Right to the face...  Some even deepened friendships.  Even the bad things have given me new perspective.  They have made me tougher.  They have made me more vulnerable.  They have made me more honest.  They have made me give up control (kicking and screaming).  They have also shown me something, that I never want to lose sight of.  When I think back over the last few months, I feel like I have caught little glimpses of something more.  Something bigger than me.  I caught glimpses of the person that I want to be.  And for some reason, this gives me peace.  I will more often times than not, catch myself getting a little downtrodden.  Usually it happens after a good dose of self comparison.  Or if I have to see more baby ultra sounds on my fb feed.  Or TMI honey moon pics.  Just venting here...  (No offense to any of you.)  But, I will get kind of down. Like I missed the boat or something.  But, if I look at it as a bigger picture- I'm ok.  I will be ok.  I know that I am doing what I think I am being called to do.  And that is to love God.  To love people.  To be kind.  And to do the best that I can.  It's all supposed to point in one direction.  And that is up.  Not inward (although, I sometimes botch that part up).  I used to want to hurry up and get where I am supposed to be.  But, deep down, it's good to take it all slow(at least for me).  To process, to take it in, to live.  Even the hard moments.  I don't want to be in a hurry to get somewhere and then miss out on the moment.  I'm sure I'm a lil behind the game or whatever, but I don't care if I am not out every night, living the dream (yes, an occasional night is fine).  I'm a nerd, I'd rather be watching a sunset with a cold beer.  Or casting my line aimlessly into a flood tide.  Or playing my guitar.  Or writing on this here blog. Or having a really good chat with a great friend/s.  These are the pieces of life that I absolutely LOVE.  These are pieces that give me a glimpse into something more.  I know there are great things awaiting.  I know there are hard things awaiting.  And they will get here when they get here.  And when they do, I will embrace it.  Because I know they are growing me.  And challenging me.  And moving me one step closer to who I want to be.  So boom.  Those are my thoughts on this lovely Wednesday.

Currently jamming to:
Andrew Belle
Gareth Dunlop
Marvin Gaye

Get down on it,

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