I know some of you got really excited when you read that title. (Tyler).. Any who. Sorry to disappoint, but I don't think you will be getting what you think just yet. As I explained in my first "Open for Business" post, I've been proactively trying to match my outfits, brush my hair and just look a little more together than I had been for the past 27 years. No biggie. I'd like to go ahead and say thanks for the positive feedback. It has been hilarious. I appreciate it. My favorite part is how funny people are. Like if I wear a watch or a bracelet I feel like I just rescued a cat from a tree or something. Praise comes from all around. It must have been a dire situation... Haha.
Today I had a first. (It's not what you are thinking). I was measuring a lovely triplex in a not so fine part of West Ashley this am. I finishing up the last unit when I noticed the tenant kind of watching me. Staring at me. I am incredibly awkward naturally, so this was starting to get weird. And funny. Finally she complimented my chacos. I should have known she was up to something with that because my fashion advisers are not big fans of the trusty chacos. Then she dropped the hammer and asked me if I had heard of Mary Kay. Oh shit. Crap. Why me?? I do not like make up. I do not want to know about make up. I do not want you to tell me that I need to wear makeup. I have enough of that on my own. Panic set in. I frantically mentioned that I have in fact heard of Mary Kay. The pink Cadillac right? Please don't invite to a Mary Kay throw down. Scary Kay. She then says that she wants to give me a free trial. Hello? Are you saying that I need makeup? Is this a bad looking situation? I happened to think that my skin was looking quite refreshed today. I started to get nervous. Then I started to sweat a little. I told her I was more of a tom boy. She didn't fall for that. She went on to tell me about her transformation etc. I finally convinced her that I was not going to be wearing any makeup. It's not you, it's me I told her. She was quick on her feet and then went the skin care route. I was not prepared for this part. She asked if I took care of my skin. Why? Is it bad? I noticed my right cheek is a bit ashy, but is it obvious? Oh no. She asked if I washed my face. Yes, in the shower, with my left over shampoo.... This does not sound good. So I whipped out some words of products I've heard of while living with the Wagner women. I used words like oil free, spf, non greasy etc. She tried to push some more product on me. When she realized I was like a steel trap, she went for another tactic. Would I be interested in dealing the products? Oh hell no. Ain't happening. Do you even know who I am? I'm the last person that should ever sell beauty needs. And then the most hilarious thought crossed my mind. What if I, Sarah Sass became a dealer of makeup. I got the best visual ever. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could deal some stuff. I'd be cruising the pink caddy. My vision was dashed when I saw her pulling out little samples. I backed away quickly. I thought she was going to slide them in my own pocket or put them down my shirt. My personal space was just manhandled like none other. I tried to kill her with kindness and then high tailed it out of there ASAP.
I casually told her that I was working on my wardrobe situation first. But I would be in touch if I needed some Mary Kay. Makeup and product etc could come later. Fashion alone is enough to occupy this hot mess express.
Changing the world one outfit at a time,