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I am a hot mess express going full throttle

Sunday, September 18, 2011

A splash of the Holy Spirit

Disclaimer: This is a Holy Spirit post.  Read at your own risk.  I never know where people stand on this subject.  One never knows what is about to go down.  I also don't want to freak any one out.  Ok? Great.  Read at your own risk.  And don't judge.  These are just minor rules people.

This weekend I journeyed somewhere that I quite honestly never thought I would journey to.  For serious.  I went down to CHM.  I like to use the initials because sometimes the name freaks me out.  Well, it used to.  I'm doing much better with it now.  CHM is Christian Healing Ministries.  It was started by the MacNutts.  Plus it's where Liz B works and lives and is a rock star (except she rigged no door prize winnings for me...  Nough said.  Our fearless leader, Cassie, was doing a talk at this conference called Hearts on Fire.  I tried to skate around it for quite some time, but she got me locked down and signed up.  So, for the last 4 weeks I have been secretly dreading going down there.  Why you ask?  Well, I am a tidbit scared of CHM.  Here is why.  My 1st St. Andrews retreat was where I first saw some major Holy Spirit action.  Some friends and I were on the retreat team and got to go early.  We walked in on some Holy Spiritness and I was a bit scared.  TRAUMATIZED.  But, Cassie has been fixing us ever since.  And I love learning about the HS and the gifts of the Spirit.  St. Andrews has been an incredible place to learn about all of this.  So anyways- I went.  And I survived.  And I had a GREAT time.  I'm about to drop the play by play, so you can eject yourself from this ride if you so wish.

Me, Beth and Megan headed down south on Thursday afternoon.  Of course the car ride was very entertaining.  I laughed a lot.  We went straight on to the conference.  Judith MacNutt (I would say she's kind of the big dog there) gave the first talk.  It was on Jesus and Women.  It was pretty stellar.  Then we went back to the hotel where we socialized and laughed and what not.  We went to bed.  I did not sleep.  At all.  Which then made me edgy.  On Fri morning we headed back to the church.  The second talk (by a guy named Lee Grady) was on Barren to Fruit (I think).  We learned about Hannah.  Which I actually knew nothing about.  Whatsoever.  We learned about the voices of condemnation and stuff.  Then we went to lunch.  SIDE NOTE- Jax is actually pretty cool.  Good restaurants and really cute houses.  The next talk was on Shining like Stars by Linda Strickland.  Here is what I took home on that one: It's not about me and it's not about now.  (Shabam)  Judith dropped the next talk.  She put up a really cool pic of Jesus with the woman at the well.  I wish i could show you.  She talked about the woman at the well and how she had a divine appointment. It was pretty awesome.  If you didn't know, the Holy Spirit is the only one that can transform your life.  Just saying.  There were also some break out sessions.  Ok.  If you scare easy, then please hit the x at the top of the page.  I'm serious.  I can't have you judging me.  It will give me anxiety.

On Friday night, Judith led into teaching about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.  See, when you accept Christ, you get the Holy Spirit.  Then when you get the baptism of the HS, you are basically starting up the engine. (Paraphrasing bc I have no idea how to explain this.)  At the end of her talk she called people down if they wanted the baptism.  I think the baptism also is you asking for whatever gifts you want God to give you.  Correct me if I am wrong.  I have done this before, but my heart was racing so that usually means God is calling me out.  So I went down.  Now this is where I used to get scared.  When I say used, I mean that I sometimes still get scared.  So people were down there getting prayed for and what not.  Sometimes this makes people cry, laugh a whole ton, or fall down. Some people also pray to get their prayer language.  I can't even begin to touch on this one, so we can talk later.  This used to always make me laugh and scare the bejunkedness out of me.  I went down.  Got some prayer.  Not sure if it took or not.  Don't worry nothing crazy happened to me.  except that I felt like God seriously affirmed some things that I have been praying about and made decisions about.  I felt so so so much better.  Well, when I opened my eyes, I saw Judith standing right in front of me.  (When I first met her, I wasn't super friendly since I thought she was a wizard and all...not the case.)  I felt like I needed to apologize to her for giving her crazy looks and telling her I didn't need her to pray for me at our first encounter.  So I jumped on the stage.  Declared that I was not a crazed fan or anything and apologized.  She laughed.  (Prolly thinks I'm crazy).  Then she told me that I was beautiful.  (These types of things make me nervous) So I said ditto and ran off.  Real smooth people.  We went back to the hotel.  Hung out and talked.  Sat morning Judith talked about intimacy with God.  I learned this: Our identity is in the creator, not the created. Good word right there.  Then Lee Grady spoke on Bondage to Breakthrough.  I learned about Ruth an Boaz.  I learned this: We can't be 100% free until we are 100% transparent.  Word up.

Judith brought it home with the last talk of the conference.  It was on healing.  I learned a lot.  There are 4 types: Physical, Spiritual (Sin and woundedness), Demonic Deliverance (this one may scare me) and Inner Healing.  Our church has an awesome Inner Healing prayer team so I have gotten to learn a good bit about this one.  We all suffer and are wounded form living in a fallen world.  Plus we have wounds that others inflict on us and we even wound ourselves.  I could go on, but I've prolly already scared you enough.  After this one, they had healing prayer.  You could go down and get prayed over by Judith and her team.  So naturally after much inner debate, I headed down to the front.  Honestly, I was scared.  I wasn't sure what to expect.  Some people (a lot of people) were crying and a ton of people were falling down.  I don't think I'm ready to hit the deck yet.  So I stood in the line with everyone else. (Here is where I had a lil moment. The night before, when I was praying, I basically was a punk and told God to show up big for me.  Like make me cry or something.  Or have Judith tell me something.  Crazy I know, but I did it. Just being honest) So there me and my 2 friends stood.  Waiting to get prayer.  We went to the middle because that's where Judith was praying and if I was going for it then I was going all the way.  People were dropping like flies. No joke.  I got super nervous.  I remember her praying for my friends and then they went back to their seats.  She prayed for me quick and just when I was about to retreat back to the seat, she came back.  (Hello, I told God to show up through Judith.  And now look.  I'm a punk.)  She started praying for me. Normally I would have been panicking inside.  But it felt normal.   Next thing I knew, her sidekick, Linda was there too.  Double whammy.   They totally stopped doing what they were doing and camped out with me.  I wasn't scared at all.  I think they must have prayed for like 10 min.  I totally hogged them.  Then they told me what they heard and it was awesome.  Seriously.  So cool.  I kind of wish there was a CHM here in Charleston. Then it was over.  And we peaced out.  If you weren't sure- the weekend was awesome.  Straight up.

Here is a piece that I left out.  The worship was INCREDIBLE.  I have prejudice against lots of worship times because I am spoiled at St. Andrews because Dwight and our worship team is stinking awesome.  I have always had a hard time elsewhere.  But the girl who led, Kelanie, was awesome. Buy her music. She rocks.

So there you have it.  If you made it this far then you are tough and you may think I am absolutely crazy.  Or you may relate.  Or you may be intrigued.  Either way, just know that we are loved. In a totally inconceivable way.  That's what I have been thinking about.  Crazy huh?  This lil heart is on FIRE!

Love you long time,
SRS

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