Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Monday, January 17, 2011

Snookie Sighting

That's right.  We spotted Snookie on James Island on Saturday night. Along with "Mike the Situation."  And I must add that it was indeed a bad situation...I may or may not be lying about seeing the original cast of Jersey Shore, but I have no doubt that these mangy characters will show up sometime in our near future on good ol MTV.  Lay Sarah The Situation lay it down for you.  It was just a normal Saturday on my end.  Woke up, had a meeting at church, went to lunch with some wizards.  Came home.  Played a little football on the old Xbox (don't judge).  Then went and saw The King's Speech.  Great movie.  For real.  Go see it. Then I was just prepared to sit around and watch tv all night (I'm really cool, I know. You don't have to tell me.) When all of a sudden, my trusty super cool friend called and threw out an offer.  Since I was so busy I had to re arrange my schedule to fit it all in. But I made it work.  So I set out on my 120 mile journey to James Island.  After hours of travel I made it safely to The Smokey Oak Tavern.  To find old trusty friend and her accomplice applying makeup under a street light.  Classy...hah.  Just kidding- I love yall.  Anywho-we ventured in to the place.  I should add that we were meeting people that I did not know.  (if you know me then you know that I get super nervous around peeps I don't know) But I played it cool...Masked my nervousness by sucking down 27 glasses of water.  There are several things that I would like to comment on, but I got a filter for Xmas and I have decided to use it..I will focus on the scene that went down right in front of our table. So there we were.  In this tavern.  Enjoying ourselves.  When all of a sudden, a pack of guidos enter.  Once again I have discussed this with Urban Dictionary to define guido for those that do not know:

an Italian American man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette.

So the pack of guidos and other misfits enter our line of view.  I could here their accents through the random noise of the bar.  Very strong I must add.  So we had "the situation" and a midget with a beanie (not a real midget, but that is what we named him, and then one man (whom we shall call "Butt Cut" for obvious reasons) who could barely stand and keep from passing out.  They were loud and obnoxious.  Moving from place to place.  I made several awkward eye contacts with them throughout our time together.  Finally Snookie came on the scene.  Snookie was a bit snockered if you ask me.  But that is neither here nor there.  Actually it is here.  Because she set the tone for the night.  Well she begins to dance with "The Situation."  I should add that there was no music playing.  Just some football games.  Man did they have rhythm...Now that I am writing this-it was kind of gross, but we just had to keep watching.  I guess we were starstruck...Anyhow, Snookie had a drink in her hand so she couldn't booty dance up to her full potential.  So naturally, she comes over to our table to put her drink down.  Being the hospitable southerners that we are, we engaged in a lil conversation.  She was here visiting.  I proceeded to call her Snookie.  She didn't hate it.  Yadda Yadda. She headed back to get up on "the situation" (Literally).  Well as you know from viewing the shore, you know that they are happy and then there is some kind of fight, with slapping and cussing, then they are happy again.  Well this must have happened several times.  Snookie then moved around to the midget.  Then to Butt Cut.  Then back to "the situation".  Throw in some kissing and disgusting touching and dancing.  For about 2 hours.  We were pretty entertained.  In fact- My stomach started to hurt from laughing.  Must have pulled a muscle or something.  I could go into more detail about this night, but I will leave it to your imaginations.  Snookie did happen to leave with the "Situation".  So I can't confirm how the night ended.  All in all-It was a successful night.  


1 comment:

  1. you forgot about them dropping the drinks!!