Getting Lucky

So I am feeling incredibly lucky right about now. This year I've gotten to help lead a bible study at St. Andrews.  There are a whole ton of reasons why I feel lucky (maybe I should say blessed?). One, is that I get to lead it with one of the best people that I know (and she hasn't killed me yet). Second, I have learned more in these last few months than I have learned in most of my walk (probably because I actually have to learn what we are bringing to the group).  Thirdly, I pretty much adore/want to be friends with every one of our people.  Like adore them so much that I want to tackle them when they come in the door.


Lately, we have been learning about the body of Christ. I hadn't truly thought about this in a while. Or ever.  All I know is that when I get to talking about it or reading about it, it's all I can do to not explode.  I finally figured out why.  I will admit that I am not the best at seeing/receiving God's love in the conventional ways. Like reading the Bible (I rarely do it) or praying.  I see it in people.  I see it in the Body.  And here is why. When we accept Christ, He is in our hearts. Forever.  Essentially, we become Jesus with skin on. Or at least we hope to be.  I have seen God's love in other people.  I feel EXTREMELY lucky because I feel like I am surrounded by incredible people. 


Here is where it gets interesting.  Life is about relationship. Love is about relationship.  Relationship is about love, vulnerability and sacrifice.  We were created to be dependent.  Shocker I know. However, we have been raised in a culture of self sufficiency and independence. In fact, we are taught to not need or even ask for help.  So when we do feel needy or not equipped, we don't love that feeling. In fact, I personally feel sick to my dang stomach.  Well, I hate to break it to you (and me), but we were created to be dependent and ask for help. From God and from others. What we don't or can't get from God, we have to get from others.  We were made to be in community with each other. This may scare some of you, but it is so reassuring to me (probably bc I feel ill equipped on an extremely frequent basis..).  We were created to do life together.  With God as the source and people by our side.  You see, because we have Jesus/God/Holy Spirit in our hearts, we in turn have God's grace in our hearts. And we have the chance to share it/give it to our people.  Our people hold us up. They support us. In the good, the bad and the ugly.  And we get to do it for others as well.  I LOVE THIS.  Seriously. I can't shut up about it.  When I feel the most loved by people, I feel the most loved by God.  It's real and it is tangible.  I know its extremely hard to be vulnerable. Trust me.  I don't like word vomiting to someone just as much as the next person. It takes me like 5 hours to get out one tiny little thing.  And then I usually feel like junk right after.  But, it keeps coming back to the same question.  Is the risk worth the reward?  Really think about it.  In my opinion. Yes. Hell Yes. It is worth it.  Seriously.  Think about it. 

Every time I read this quote below I want to cry.  Shot to the heart every single time. Can you imagine if you were known? And then truly loved?  If you were shown God's love?  I'm pretty sure it is worth it.  Now don't get me wrong. I botch this situation up on a daily basis. Trust me.  But, I keep praying that one day it will all click. Or that I would see God's love in it all.  I pray that I could do it. Really do it. That I could be real. That I could take the chances.  That it wouldn't take me 27 loops around town to talk about something that makes me want to die. (Bc chances are I'm probs not going to die) That I would not be limited by my own fears, doubts or negative thinking.  That I could become the one He created me to be.  It's not easy and I think it probably takes a shiz load of time.  And I am far far far from it. But, with some help and a whole lot of prayer, I think its a possibility.  Like it or not- Praying that for you all too:)