Just a little bit of guns & dresses

Monday, November 18, 2013

Oh hell no

Brace yourselves.  Shit has hit my fan.  It brings me great distress to write this next sentence.  Today I found my first gray hair.  Mother clucker.  All by my lonesome, sitting in my car, I noticed a blinding color coming from the top of my head.  I thought to myself, "Oh hell no. It cannot be."  I frantically scooted up to the mirror to investigate.  Low and behold there it was.  My destiny.  Like the ugly duckling.  Totally unwanted.  A short, ugly gray hair.  I wanted to cry on the spot.  What the hell?  I am a young whippersnapper.  Only 28 young years old.  How can this be??  My life was flashing before my eyes.  I always thought that I would find my first gray sometime around 65.  Is that so wrong?  Dear Lord.  Does this mean that I will have to start dying my hair at some point??? Noooooooooooo.  I just can't bare the thought of that.  I'm not cut out for the world of standing hair appointments.  I like the cut.  Not the cut and color.  Not only did I find a gray, I just realized that I too have the PMS (yes, I am late to the game.  I am really good at denial.)  I mean come on.  I had been denying the whole PMS thing for years.  No, that never effects me.  I'm all good.. No cramps or unpleasantness over here...  Well the truth has been sprung from the darkness.  I, too, am reaping the benefits of womanhood.  I hope you sense the sarcasm I am oozing..  That's two big ones in one weekend.  Woman hood is so not glamorous. 

The gray hair was pestering me all day. Luckily I saw a trusty friend.  She offered to gently pull it from my beautiful brown hair.  I should add that I do not like any type of hair pulling.  I am ultra dramatic and like to claim a sensitive scalp.  After several attempts followed by hesitation, I let her give it a go.  Let's just say that I have a bald spot.  The unwanted hair escaped the first pull.  I reluctantly allowed a second extraction attempt.  Got it.  That little piece of stress was ugly as hell.  Shorter, coarser and not straight.  Awesome.  I'm sure there are more to come...  Woohoo...

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