Ahhhhh

It was a good weekend.  I spent 24 hours at Edisto.  My favorite place in the world.  With some of my favorite people.  Doing some of my favorite things.  

Got to know the Kowbeidu Fam...

 They were funny

 and adorable...

 Spent some good one on one time with this sunset

 then out came these two...

 Hey ladies...

 All of the kojos made it on the dock

 Then we had some lovely acrobatics

 Half the time I want to kill them.  Then they get all cute

 Backflop..

 Back to what I like..

 Couples jumping...

I wanted to steal him and bring him back to reign as prince of the girl palace.. I was not very successful.

 

  All in all, it was a good weekend.

Latra.

The American Dream (or is it a Nightmare)

Disclaimer:  I am in need of a vent sesh.  No need to worry.  I am only slightly cray cray at this present time.  No fear.  Don't judge.  Read at your own risk.


The American Dream.  What is it?  Well, I always thought the American dream would be to get further education, get a job, get a car, get married, get some kids and then live happily ever after.  So I thought.  Lately, the pursuit of the American Dream has been more like a reoccurring nightmare.  You see, I have started looking at houses.  Which is completely overwhelming.  I live and breathe the MLS.  I have been in every dump and dive in the 29464.  But I'm trying to get all of my ducks in a row.  So come to find out that I have 2 of the 3 big parts that will one day (if hell freezes over) lead to home ownership.  I was missing what is looming behind door number 3.  Credit.  I have none (which I always thought was ok.)  Come to find out I actually have a strike against me.  At no fault of my own.  For once.  Well it just so happens that I have never had a credit card.  Never ever wanted one.  Still don't. I grew up learning not to spend money that you don't have. (Kudos to Herb and Ginny).  I never got into money trouble.  Fast forward to a few weeks ago.  I decided I better get one and maybe start building some credit.  No idea how this junk is supposed to work (I just want to be 16 again).  Paying rent and utilities on time for over 5 years doesn't help you 1%  Just in case you were wondering.  So I apply.  I got denied.  Applied to a different one.  REJECTION.  I was beside myself.  I mean- crazy people with no jobs are running around this town, charging things up like nobody's business.  And I have jack.  Come on.  So I get on the horn to figure out the situation.  Well (I am still p-oed about this by the way if you couldn't tell) apparently, in 2004 I went to the dermatologist.  Well the pathology lab billed us $69.  So they thought. They billed the wrong address.  So we never knew.  Fast forward 8 years.  This numchuck has been sitting on my credit report.  Making me look like a slack ding-aling who didn't feel like paying.  Not the case.  So I pay it in full immediately and begin harassing the collection people to get this blemish of my record.  Not as easy as it sounds. Diamond (the collections representative) and I are pretty tight now.  I call her almost everyday.  Just to see how far along we are with this thing.  Sometimes I'm dramatic and say things like : "I mean, why do bad things happen to good people," "My whole life is now on hold, do you understand the urgency here," or "how would you feel if you were a rule follower and this happened to you?".  I'm sure she is just waiting by the phone waiting on my next call.  Which will be in 12 hours from now.  Bottom line: You follow the rules when you are young and then you are penalized.  Okay, that may be a little dramatic, but the thought has crossed my mind.  So that's where I'm at right now.  Playing the waiting game.  But, you just wait. I'm about to build credit like you've never seen.  One thing I have learned is that I can't stand wating on people to get something done.  I has been driving my berserk.  This whole ordeal has made me spastic.  I'm trying to recover the much calmer Sarah.  So basically, I can't do much on the house hunt until the credit sitch is under control.  But, I may have some irons in the fire.  Say some prayers.  For my future house.  And my sanity.  I'll be honest, this little blemish has given me some anxiety. I laid awake in the dark last night from 11pm to 5am.  Anxiety ridden.  Unable to sleep.  I finally got up cleaned my closet and played some temple run until my eyes got tired and fell asleep.  Until 7:15 am...  Today has been a bit rough due to tiredness, but I'm hoping to catch up tonight.  This is probably more than you ever wanted to know.  But now you know.  So if you have had any type of interaction with me in the past 3 weeks and it was bad... Sorry.  I have been a bit stressed.  Having a house has been one of my most important aspirations.  Something that I have really been working towards.

So what now.  I posted in my last blog that I needed to learn how to trust that God will lead me where I need to go.  I'd like to say that I've got it down pat and I am beating doubt and anxiety down like a little ninja.  I'd like to, but that's not the case.  But, I am trying.  Trying really hard to not just shut down and get discouraged.  Or try to do it on my own. Or calling other people for help.  Because I can't.  Somewhere deep down I have to release it to him.  I try and control just about everything.  I literally have no control over what happens next.  And that is flat out hard.  I have to trust and hope that things will work out how they are supposed to.  I have to trust that there is a plan for me.  Not drawn by yours truly.  I have to truly, truly believe that He is in control.  That he will open and close doors.  That he will use me in this.  In some way, that I do not see.  That I would strive to meet some expectation that I have put on this.  I have to let go and let God.

That's where I'm at tonight.  It feels terrible, yet kind of good in some weird way.  I think this is kind of good for me.  That's all I've got.

Later Gator,

SRS

PS: If you do not have Green River Ordinance's new album- Run fast and go get it.  You won't regret it.

I'm sorry, come again?

So last night I finished up my time at the Senf's.  I was a lil sad to leave because we had so much fun.  Although I will not miss waking up at 5:50 am.  I have a whole new respect for moms.  Dang.  On my way out of the hood I stopped buy the Grady's.  Which always leads to good convo's.  We were just catching up on a plethora of things.  Somehow we got on the spiritual track and one little question has now not only perplexed me and intrigued me, but it has challenged me 100%.  While I was giving Sherri the low down on my house hunting, I mentioned that I wasn't 100% positive on my trust level with God throughout this whole process.  In fact, I had come to the conclusion that if I wasn't just doing everything, then nothing would work out (classic, I can do it all thinking).  Basically, the world would end if I gave it over to God....  Just throwing that out there.  So here is what she says (if I remember correctly): "So, which part of the God head are you closest to?  (I immediately was shocked. I'm sure I displayed a lovely facial expression) (Good thing she is used to that).  Like which one am I better friends with?  Uh.. Well, I'm feeling that I have been on team Holy Spirit for a while.  Yeah.  That sounds right.  I feel like I have just been going after the Holy Spirit.  I may have neglected the others.  Sorry, I'm laughing at myself as I write this.  Just based on how much my life has drastically changed in the last 2 years...  Okay, so go team Holy Spirit.  Then she says: "So why don't you ask the Holy Spirit where you have a trust issue?  Is it with God the Father or Jesus?  Insert another facial expression.  Hold up.  I can ask them separately?  I just took me like 3 years to understand that the three are actually one.  Now I'm supposed to break them up again??  Oh gosh.  So on this whole Holy Spirit escapade/journey that I have been on- I have completely forgotten the fact that there is God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  I have just been lumping them up together.  Like when I pray I just assume it goes into a prayer vacuum and hits all three at once. Kill 3 birds with 1 stone?  Oh geez.  I was seriously sitting there, feeling like the biggest dingle dong.  How have I never once thought about this??????  Hello?  Mcfly?  So I left there feeling super excited about a challenge.  Normally I avoid challenge like a champion.  I am basically going to go back and chill with God the Father and Jesus.  So now you may be thinking that I am a looney tune.  I promise I'm not (Well who knows really).  I actually think I'm fairly normal.  But, who can confirm or deny that?  I'm pretty excited about this.  I have been feeling fairly stagnant spiritually.  Not that I haven't been learning a ton, but that I didn't feel fully connected.  Maybe that's because I ditched 2/3rd's of the Trinity...  Chelloooo.  HAHAHA.  Sorry, I'm still cracking myself up over here. So here we go.  I am going to figure this thing out.  And for the first time- I'm not petrified.  I am excited.  I think this could be cool.  Plus, now I just gained an AWESOME question to throw at people...

Hope we are still friends,

Run and tell that,

SRS

Some self thought

Sorry I have been slacking on the Ole blog, but things have just been about crazy over here.  Lots and lots of different things going on. Plus, being a grown up is tough.  I definitely feel like I am in a crazy season. I have started house hunting and that is an experience in itself.  I am pretty sure that I have been in every dump and dive in the 29464 in the past month.  But I'm determined to get my own abode sometime in the future and live into my Pinterest fantasies.  This week I have had the pleasure of staying with 2 of the Senf girls.  It has been quite delightful.  And I kinda love em.  We've been doing some straight up chilling.  We chill with the best of them by the way.  One of my favorite parts is ending each day with this:

So each morning the alarm clock goes off at 5:50 am.  I cuss it and hit snooze.  The second one fires at 5:55 am.  I drag myself to Allie's room and wake her up.  Only to slip onto the recliner and sleep 10 more minutes... I am the perfect personal alarm clock:)  Each day, I have been going on evening walks. I get to do a lot of good self thinking.  Yesterday, I had a lovely visitor, but today I rocked it solo.  Which can sometimes be dangerous.  Today was ok though.  I had my new tunes on and was rolling.  Today I kept thinking about living on a rock.  What does that mean?  Well, I kept thinking that I wanted to be really intentional about building my life the way God wants me to.  I do a lot of things (99%) because I want to do them.  I often bypass even asking God about it.  I just go for it.  Well, I am going to really try and not do that.  This could be a tough one.  But, I think I can try a little harder.  I want to live and walk and operate in the Spirit.  Sorry if this freaks some of y'all out, but it has been on my heart big time.  I don't want to skate by on a wobbly foundation.  I want that sucker to be rock solid.  Word.  I don't want to become spiritually content or spiritually bored.  I want to always be on the journey.  Okay, this is sounding a bit cheesy, but I don't know how else to say it.  So while thinking about this I thought about thankfulness.  (I am also reading One Thousand Gifts so thankfulness is on my mind.)  I want to live in constant thankfulness.  So I am going to be more adamant in being thankful.  Today I am thankful for:

Iced coffee
John Legend
a good backwards hat
SUNSETS
Sitting on the dock in march with my feet in the water and not freezing
wise people in my life
a good burned cd
being able to laugh at myself
Biz's wedding pictures

So there you have it.  I know this is a bit jumbled, but take it for what it's worth.

Make good choices,

SRS

Oooh's and Aaaaah's

This weekend was pretty stellar.  Let me start with this.  Today, I was on the couch from 2pm-6pm.  I then went and saw Act Of Valor.  I am still crying.  You should probably go see it.  Then you will be super proud to be an American.  And thankful. People risk their lives for us day in and day out.  Just go see it.

Last night was the Needtobreathe and Ben Rector concert.  I have been awaiting this day for a very, very long time.  I have been a loyal NTB fan for a very long time.  I am not new to this bandwagon.  You see, they new me when I had my bad hair cut.  And that says a lot.  Would you like to see some pics circa 2007?

Old school.  When I was trying to grow my hair out and it was in super awkward stage.  I tried to mask it with headbands... Fail.  It was also when I decided to only wear fleece vests around... another fail.  I'd like to go ahead and thank Matt Luff and Logan Chandler for dragging me to Columbia to Headliners on some school night in college to listen to a band I had never heard of.  I was hooked on the first song!  Last night, while at the sold out show I realized how amazing it was to see a band that really, really worked to make it.  They are awesome!  And they deserve it!  They are really cool guys.  My favorite part was the drum line part toward the end.. If only it could have lasted a little longer.  The cherry on top to seeing NTB was Ben Rector.  I have been obsessed with Ben Rector's music for a couple years now after hearing his song "When she comes around" on a very unrealistic wedding video.  He is a really talented dude.  For real.  Rocks a piano and rocks a guitar.  Like none other. I'd say that was one of the best concerts ever.  I think it ties David Gray/Ray Lamontagne.

One of the reasons the concert was so fun was that it was full of tons and tons of friends.  Like so:

 Any time there is a photo booth, it is bound to be fun:)

So after the concert was over (sad) a group of about 15 of us did some major loitering to get to stay inside.  Then we made a move to get back stage.  I really thought our chances were slim, but we just kept moving.  (I kept thinking: just keep swimming, just keep swimming.. and so on).  After following an awesome pregnant wife of a band mate I gained some hope- she got us all in.  I would go ahead and say she is a bad *ss pregnant lady.  I want her on my team.  100%.  So we chilled backstage.  I had been lucky enough to have met them a few times before, but it was really cool to see some friends meeting them.  They were hilarious.  I think they got autographs on everything they own:)  Luckily I snuck a few pics of my own:)

 Their stage was sick.  It was a type writer and it was awesome!

 So I may not have mentioned that I have wanted to see Ben Rector forever.  I've had a music crush on him for too long! Finally!!!!

If you don't listen to Ben, I seriously suggest you start.  I forgot to mention that I also saw the coolest bday cake that I have ever seen. True story.  And it was made by a boy.  Who is not a professional.  The boy has mad baking skills.  Seriously.

So there you have it.  It was a great weekend.  Hope yours was good too:)

Buddy

Thinking of Joe today and what he did for me and everyone else who was lucky enough to know him.  Never have I been prouder to know someone.  Not a single day has gone by.  I am forever changed.  And I am forever grateful.  I will forever give thanks. 1 Chronicles 16:34.

Sarah

Wise Words

"Time is a relentless river.  It rages on, a respecter of no one.  And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here.  I can slow the torrent by being all here.  I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment. And when I am always looking for the next glimpse of glory, I slow and enter.  And time slows.  Weigh down this moment in time with attention full, and the whole of time's river slows, slows, slows.

And blind eyes see:  It's the sleuthing for the glory that slows life gloriously.  It's plain.  Giving thanks for one thousand things is ultimately an invitation to slow time down with weight of full attention.  In this space of time and sphere, I am attentive, aware, accepting the whole of the moment, weighing it down with me all here."

One Thousand Gifts.  I strongly recommend it.