I've lost that lovin feeling

All I can picture now is Tom Cruise (back when he was cute and less cray cray) in his uniform singing in the bar with Goose.  Totally off topic.  My bad.  I failed to walk the bridge this morning, so our choices are limited.  It's Monday and we are going deep.  Well, deep for me.

This past Sunday I actually paid attention to the sermon 100%.  I'm not sure that this has ever happened.  This is at no fault of any preacher.  I just get distracted and my mind wanders.  This Sunday- I even took notes!  This is big people.  Here goes.

We learned about effectual love.  I had no clue as to what that meant when it came out of Rob Sturdy's mouth.  Now I am proud to say, I know what it means.  Thank you. Hold your applause. (All of the smart, deep stuff is straight from Rob Sturdy)

Loving effectually is loving in a way that can determine an outcome.  Hate to break it to you (and me), but we don't have the ability to love effectually.  We can't love someone enough, to prevent them from doing something.  This is big.  So many times I have thought that I could do that.  Not so much.  But, God can.  

God loves us unconditionally, in an immovable way.  We will never be at home in a world that loves conditionally and ineffectually.  We will always feel strange here.  Here is the scary part to me.  The world teaches us to love conditionally.  A give and take.  I'll give you "this" if I can get "that" from you.  We will be conformed to the love of the world instead of the unconditional love of Christ.  The conditional love of the world is so powerful.  It causes us to do things we are ashamed of.  If we aren't being shaped by the unconditional love of God, then we will be shaped by the conditional love of the world.  This scares the junk out if me. I can't even count the amount of times that I've tried to earn the love of the world. 

Here's where we come in.  We have to try to escape being shaped by the conditional love of the world.  We can shape the world with our unconditional love of Christ.  We have to refuse entering into conditional relationships.  (these ones are tough).  We can't play by the rules of the conditional world.  We also have to go the extra mile. We have to do more than we "need" to do.  Specifically with those that we don't necessarily enjoy (can I say that?). 

This last little part stuck out to me.  Sometimes (lots of times) we actually think that we are a benefit to Christ.  I don't know if you have ever felt that way.  True Confession: Sometimes, when things are great, I'm doing well, everything is going right- I can actually catch myself thinking that I am a benefit to Christ.  Really?  And then it all goes to hell and a hand basket.  Insert "The Fall."  Happens all of the time.  I am in no way a benefit to Christ.  Getting into that mindset is a trap.  Straight up. 

If you didn't get to hear this sermon- I highly recommend listening to it. 

Happy Monday:) 

Thankful in the Fall

Fall-I am so glad you have actually found Mt. Perfect this year.  (Sometimes fall forgets to come).  Even if it is temporary, it is AWESOME.  There is nothing better than walking outside and just feeling so good only because the weather is glorious.  Since I have recently morphed into a book reading, guitar playing, candle lighting, introverted recluse- I welcome this beautiful fall weather.  I can't wait to just lay on my hammock and read.  (Isn't this what every 27 yr old girl wants to do all the time?).  I also can't wait to just go wandering around without having a heat stroke.  Yes, this is just awesome. 

Sorry I have been a little absent.  I haven't had too much to write about lately.  However, I have been processing lots of little different things.  I feel like all of a sudden there are a million things that I want to try.  Such as Jazz guitar, cello, drums, cooking.  The creative juices are flowing like none other.  I am having a hard time just taking them one at a time.  (Plus I have to work here and there) 

I've been feeling super blessed this week.  I kind of was in a bit of a rut the last month (fear, insecurity, vain imaginings, etc- the usual), but in the midst of it I realized some cool things.  One is that I feel so blessed to have such great people in my life.  Just the last two weeks I have had a genuine sense of love and joy towards some of my friends.  Don't judge- but I could literally start thinking or talking about someone and it could make me tear up.  As weird as that is, I am so so so glad.  Thankful is what I am on that one.  I am also so thankful to have people in my life that teach me new things all the time.  Even when they are not meaning to.  So cool.  I hope that one day I can do that for other people.

I think I kind of finally saw things in a different perspective.  I love that I have friends that are older than me and that are wise and kind.  That actually take the time to be friends.  I am thankful that I have friends that love me like part of their families.  It's so fun and cool to get to know not just one person, but their whole family.  You get to see how people really are.  That's my favorite part.  You get to do life together.  I am so thankful for my friends and roommates.  Especially when we are all trying to do life and figure things out together. As hard as it can be, it's often quite funny.  Thankful to have people that will go sit in a coffee shop and talk for hours, buy cellos, ride bikes or quote Parenthood and FNL.(No Tim Riggins reminiscing ever gets old over here).  Also, I am so thankful that basically my whole entire family lives here.  Thankful that I can see them any time.  Basically- I just think its cool how God surprises us sometimes.  When something has been right in front of us the whole time and it takes us coming to the end of ourselves for us to see it.  Just a few weeks ago I was like the most insecure person on this planet.  And then today I am all sappy/emotional about how great my friends are.  I think the Lord puts people in our lives that test us, that challenge the junk out of us, that teach us, that love us and that show us who it is that God is calling us to be.  So cool.  I hope that i can be that way for someone else. (more on the love side- less on the testy side).  So that's where I am this Friday.  Thankful.

Later Gator.

Engagement Partay

Mere and Tyler's (the boy tyler) engagement party was on Friday night.  It was pretty stellar.  I thought we pulled it off quite nicely.  It was lowcountry pinterest style...  You can check it out HERE

Shopping for Jesus goods

Today I had to go to The Mecca of Christian goods for the first time.  I think I just got queasy saying it. This place is like the Jesus version of Michael's.  And we all know how I feel about Michael's. Anxiety/craft/old people overload.  But, I had good reason to go, so I went.  Into the doors of Christian paraphernalia I went.  I should have turned around when I saw the thanksgiving Jesus decorations.  I made my way through the "home goods" section and headed to the back.  I was trying to find a bible.  Dear Lord.  I didn't even know that there were that many choices for bibles. 

 I haven't even heard of some of the different types.  Holman Christian Standard??  Amplified?  Amplify what?  Bibles were EVERYWHERE.  I panicked.  Too many choices.  Plus little lady on the headset kept hovering back and forth which caused me to have decision anxiety.  It literally took me more than 30 minutes to pick out a bible.  I was having hot flashes.  Too many Bibles up in here...

They even have Bibles for Rednecks.  This one is for Honey Boo Boo.



They also have Bibles for bedazzling little teeny bops(no offense if you or your child is sporting this one-I secretly wanted it).  No wonder kids have tudes these days.



Also, while on this Christian swag journey I found the rich man's Bible.  I mean, I hope that this Bible has a holographic Jesus that appears and reads it you.  And then performs some miracles or healings.



I felt like I should get this one just because it was the most expensive one.  I mean, maybe I would get more street cred if I was rolling with this one.  This one must have all of the answers in it.  Unfortunately I just couldn't pull the trigger on the $100 Bible.  Headset girl tried to hustle me, but I prevailed. 

 

Let's move on.

 

The check out.  After 45 minutes of wandering around aimlessly (I was hunting for some cheesy Jesus treats), I finally found the check out.  Enter awkward situation.  I am checking out behind someone who is trying to get a discount, yet they don't fulfill discount credentials.  He finally conceded and paid full price. My turn.  I am checking out.  Cashier man is a chatty Cathy.  After 10 minutes I realize I still have not been checked out.  Time is money people.  He asks me what I am buying all of my loot for.  I explain.  He then asks where I live.  Huh?  Where do I go to church? Why?  Did I go to college here? Ok, now I'm getting a little confused here.  Insert more small talk.  He is now no longer behind the counter. What do I do?  Do I want any good book recommendations?   Is this homeboy flirting?  No way.  I knew I should not have come to this place.  I felt like all the little Jesus' in the store were staring at me.  How in the world does one escape this? I still needed to pay for my junk and roll out.  I thought about just taking off, but headset girl was by the front door and it could get awkward.  I casually mention that I am in a hurry to get to Starbucks to meet someone.  Terrible lie.  It was the only thing I could think of.  I'm usually so much better.  Plus I felt so guilty for lying in the Jesus store.  Chatty Cathy asks who I'm going to meet.  Oh dear Lord.  Finally he takes my money.  Goodness.  I aged 10 years in there.  

 

I reach the outside.  I wanted to kiss the ground.  FREEDOM.  I walk toward my car.  Only to see what looked like Za Za Gabor smoking some nice Virginia Slims basically on my car.  Ugh.  She was talking to someone in the car next to mine.  More like yelling actually.  Well this is awkward.  I had to stand there for like a minute for her to notice me.  Finally she carts it on to the other side.  I jumped in White Lightning and burned rubber. 

 

Never to return again.

People of the Bridge: Sweat Swapping Road Hogs

Yesterday I walked the bridge.  TWICE.  Yes, Hell hath frozen over.  I found myself with some free time (what??) and decided to declare Two a day Tuesday.  I'm not sure if this is a one time thing or not.  So I hit the bridge. 

1- I am sticking to my walking solo.  I happened to get a call from Heavy on the Veggie on my way up.  I was secretly thrilled by this.  I mean- she was my initial inspiration so it was only natural to be spotted by her at some point.  However, as we were talking, I was heading up.  I began to notice that my air supply was becoming limited.  I tried so hard to play it cool.  We talked the whole way up.  I was trying to imagine someone next to me.  Finally at the top we hung up and I thought that the Lord was calling me home.  I was sweating like it was no body's business.  Gross.  I mean really?  I've probably walked that concrete mountain 25 times in a row and I still can't talk/breathe/survive.  Oh well.

Dear Incredibly good looking shirtless man in the bright red shorts,
I would like to apologize.  I am sorry that I basically stared at you for like 5 minutes straight at the top of the bridge.  And bottom...  I felt like it was slow motion.  I bet you did not feel the same.  Weird, I couldn't breathe at this point either...  Sorry I faked like I needed to stretch at the bottom.  I thought you needed some company?  I almost even did a lunge... I promise I'm not a creeper.  But you kind of brought it upon yourself.  I mean, who runs with a 6 pack, tanned and shirtless?  Get it together. 

Dear Sweet Swapping Road Hogs,

You know who you are. (In case you don't- there you are)  You crept up on me from behind (no mam) and you almost plowed me right on over.  Lucky for you I have cat like reflexes.  I almost went all ninja style on you.  Not only do you run me into the guard rail, you give me the stink eye and you rubbed your equally sweaty arm against mine.  I thought for one split second that I was going to pass out on the spot.  Generally, sweat doesn't bother me too too much.  But, I just can't handle a stranger's sweat.  Well, maybe the shirtless man in the red shorts, but that's a long shot).  It wasn't a quick arm brush.  It was like you posted up and were planning to stay awhile.  One of my most awkward moments. Ever.  You passed me like I was slowing down the whole bridge.  I mean, yes I am slow, but I do not need to be trampled.  I was all flustered after that.  But then I happened to run back into red shorts guy.  And all was well with the world. 

Peace and Blessings,

Sassy Sweats A Lot.

The Throne.

So I read something interesting today.  I've read it a few times before, but it struck a different chord today.  I am in the midst of reading my little Graham Cooke mini series.  Let me break it down as I see it.  (Holy Spirit for dummies is how I roll.)

Hebrews 4:16

"Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

The throne of grace sounds super powerful here.  Um, why have I not viewed as powerful before 2k12?  It is a place of authority.  It is the bottom line.  This place of authority is also where we will find grace and mercy.  OK.  I'm liking this.  When we go to the throne of grace, we can't go with fear.  We must go with confidence.  Condemnation prevents us from forgiveness.  It halts us from approaching God.  The Father.  It leads not to freedom, but to shame.  I don't know why, but this rocked my world today. 

Here is one more little Graham Cooke nugget for you to chew on:

Christendom is called to give the earth a taste of what heaven will be like.  If more Christians would stand up in the goodness of God, acting out in every facet of their lives, society would be changed immensely.  I mean- why don't I do this more?  Why don't we as a church do this more?  Just thought I'd share:)

Mud Butt

That's my new self proclaimed nickname.  Let me lay it on down. Last week I get a text.  From one of my favorite people.  Ben Johnston.  He asks me if I want to go fly fish with him.  Is that even a question?  I've only been strongly suggesting it every time I see him.  (He's about to have a kid so I am only helping him get used to being asked a lot of questions.  frequently.)  The long awaited evening comes.  I was actually quite nervous.  What if my cast stinks?  What if I spaz out? (total possibility) What if I sink in the mud?  I mean I have had a close call (Laurie Bates???) These are all valid concerns.  I also do not have the cool fly fishing attire... So I was a little insecure.  I was rocking some old soccer shorts and tennis shoes.  I'm going to have to up my game in this department.  We walked out on to the flat and it was BEAUTIFUL.  I am so going back like a million times.  We trek it across the mud and make it to our spot.  Not too long after we began to see some redfish tailing.  I got a little over excited.  After like 45 failed casts I finally got my marbles together and started trying to catch those suckers.  We were out there for a beautimous sunset.  I managed to stay pretty calm and it was going quite smoothly.  Until the end.  Just when we are getting ready to leave (at this point I'm quite proud of myself) I busted my behonkus like none other.  I went to move to Ben's spot and I didn't realize one foot was stuck in the mud.  My friends, Humpty dumpty fell off the wall.  Into a ginormous mud puddle.  There is just no dainty way to do it.  I had a stage 10 butt flop.  And I may have died laughing.  Thank God I like to laugh.  It could have been so bad.  Ben, being the nice person that he is, held his laughter in.  I mean, I was a bit embarrassed at this point.  I was soaked.  And smelled like pluff mud.  Rank.   He helped me out of my sink hole and we made our journey back to solid ground. I am going to go back and just practice walking out there....  So there you have it.  My gracefulness is needing a little bit of improvement...

Sincerely,
Mud Butt.